I Always Wanted You Home
by mockingjay-x
Summary: Just based on Derek and Addison in Season Two. What would've happened, if he had been serious about making his marriage work? I'm not great at summaries, my first fic. I don't own Grey's. Sadly.
1. I'm Not Walking Away

**_Just my first FanFic. I hope you all like. Reviews are appreciated. It's not the best, I know it's not. If you're not an ADDEK fan, I'd disappear if I was you._**

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"You just walked away, Derek. You caught me in bed with your best friend and you just walked away! I don't know what the hell you want me to do." Addison said angrily as she stared at her husband who was standing in front of her in the trailer soaking wet. He wasn't mean to be there, he was meant to be at work, but he was standing there in front of her. That look on his face which made her heart melt, and she wanted to be mad at him, she needed to be, but she found herself unable to be.

"Don't yell. At least, not yet. Let me talk. Please?" His voice was so calm, calmer than what either one had expected, but he felt calm. For the first time in months he felt calm, he felt relaxed and Derek had no idea why he felt that way.

"Go on. Talk. Say what the hell you want, it won't do any good, you've already made your choice." She stated as she stopped packing her things into the duffel bag that was sitting on the bed. She had planned to leave while he was at work,a note on the side explaining that it was best for the both of them if she just left.

Running his hand through his wet hair, Derek looked down at the floor a little awkwardly before looking back up at Addison, he could see anger in her eyes, but at the same time there was a softness to them. "In New York, I was distant. I worked all the time and I pushed you away. I got phone calls from Nancy almost every day, leaving messages yelling at me for screwing things up with you, and if I didn't do something soon, I'd lose you. I never thought I would, I always thought I'd come home and you'd be there in bed, the sheets tightly around you as you held onto a pillow. One night, I came home, and I saw that image, and I knew that you wanted me to be the pillow, that you wanted me home again."

"I always wanted you home." Addison muttered quietly, interrupting Derek.

"I couldn't come home the night after, because I had a surgery, one where I knew if I didn't do it then, my patient was going to die. I couldn't let that happen. I stayed at the hospital that night, deciding that I'd start early and get out early to see you. Which I did." Pausing, Derek let out a sigh, a pained look coming across his face as he looked back to his wife. "It was that night, I caught you with... with him. I was angry at you and him, but most of all, I was angry at myself for letting it get that far."

"You walked away Derek, you came out here without even giving us another go." Addison stated as she looked at her husband, her voice a lot more confidant than she felt at that moment.

Stepping a little closer to his wife, but not too close, his eyes remained on her, he had walked away, she was right. He had walked away and met Meredith, which hadn't been his intention, but he had met her.

"You came here, and you met her. You have a relationship with her, and then you decide to give us another go because 'it's the right thing to do' not because you want to. I don't want to be in a relationship like that. I don't want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married to me." A single tear fell down her cheek, and Addison quickly wiped it away, hoping that Derek hadn't noticed.

"I admit, choosing you with that reason in mind was wrong. But we've had some good times, Addie. Since we decided to give things another go. I sat in my office today, looking at a photo of us from about four years ago, and we were happy. I thought about everything we used to do together, about how we had planned our life together, with every intention of things going right for us." They had been wrong, at least on some things, but maybe they could make things right, if they were both willing to try again. "It made me realize just how much I want you. Not because you're my wife and 'it's the right thing to do' but because you're my wife and no matter how much I say I don't, I do still love you."

Those words, those words that made her heart beat a little bit faster each time she heard them, just came from Derek's lips. He had told her that he loved her which was definitely more than she had expected. She had expected a fight, for them both to yell at one another and have him storming out again, but it didn't feel like that was going to happen. "I don't know whether I can trust you not to let anything happen." She whispered, feeling vulnerable right at that moment.

"I'll do whatever it takes. I mean it, anything you want, I'll do." He was serious, he wanted things to work with Addison, and he was going to try his best.

"Stop speaking to her, to Meredith." Addison knew that it was a long shot, but the least she could do was suggest it.


	2. I Still Hate The Trailer

**_Sadly, I don't own Grey's Anatomy. Nor anyone in it. I'd like it if I did though. My own personal Patrick Dempsey would be amazing. I guess I'm just going to have to settle for a vacation in Seattle. It's only like a week and a half. =] You don't want to hear my ramblings. You'd like to read. Go ahead. Reviews are appreciated. _**

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It was obvious that Addison disliked Meredith, anyone who saw them could tell that, and Derek was certain that even patients noticed it too. But how was he meant to stop talking to Meredith? After all, they worked together, he couldn't just ignore her each time she spoke to him. This was his wife, the woman he had be married to for almost twelve years, asking him to stop speaking to the woman who was almost everything Addison wasn't, because she wanted their marriage to work. It was almost as though she didn't believe that Derek wanted it as much as she did, despite having a million and one reasons to feel that way about things.

The silence that filled the air between them, Addison looking at Derek expectantly, waiting for an answer, an answer from him to help her decide whether to continue to pack her things and leave him, or stay right where she was. The look on Derek's face was of shock, he should've expected it though, he knew he should have done, and not hoped that he could have the best of both worlds.

"Addie." He said somewhat pleadingly as he kept his eyes on her, she was putting the spot light on him, so to speak, and he didn't want to say the wrong thing to anger her, but he knew that if he said something wihtout thinking, she would take it the wrong way. Then again, the silence and waiting for him to answer her would just anger her even more. Derek knew this woman, he knew when she was going to yell by the look on her face, there was just something about her.

"It's a simple thing Derek, you shouldn't have to think about it." Her tone was impatient, she just wanted an answer, something, anything. Well, maybe not _anything _but definitely something.

"You can't expect me to just stop talking to her, that's impossible. We work together." Letting out a sigh, Derek glanced around for a few seconds, searching for the right words to say, but before he had a chance to say anything else, Addison was speaking.

"We work together, but somehow you still manage to avoid me at work, and not speak to me. But with her, you just can't do it, can you? You just can't seem to make a promise to your wife that you won't speak to your little intern anymore." Her words were full of bitterness and resentment towards Meredith Grey, although she didn't entirely blame Meredith for what had happened, after all, Meredith hadn't know Derek was married when he came to Seattle. It just seemed to be a minor detail he had forgotten to mention.

"Listen to me!" His raised voice shocked Addison a little, and she could sense her husband was getting angry, maybe this time he'd yell and want to fight for their marriage, not let it fall apart. "You tell me to stop speaking to her, then you won't even let me speak. You won't even let me say what the hell is going on in my mind right now. I _can't _just stop talking to her, she's an intern, I'm going to be working with her. That's something you're going to have to deal with, Addie. As for what she and I had, that's over. I decided to give my... our marriage another chance because of obligation more than anything, but it's not that any more. You want me to stop talking to Meredith? Fine, I will, for everything but work related things. But don't expect me to just walk into work tomorrow and ignore her completely. I've hurt her enough, and I can't do it again."

Those words from Derek just angered Addison even more, she was relieved to hear him say that he was going to stop talking to Meredith other than work related things, but then he had carried on speaking, and said that he had hurt Meredith enough and he couldn't do it anymore. What the hell? He had hurt her, back in New York, he had hurt her when he left her at home alone all those nights he promised to be there. Anniversaries, Birthdays, Christmas. They were times when he promised to be there, but he never showed up, or he was late when he did. "You can't hurt her? What about me, Derek? What about your wife?" Addison yelled, a little louder than she had intended, but he had hurt her, he had angered her, and they both knew that was never a good thing.

"I screwed up. With you, I screwed up. You gave me another chance, you came out here and gave me another chance. Despite being the worst husband ever, you're here. Packing your things, but you're here." Derek glanced at the duffel bag and back up to Addison. "I know I hurt you, but walking in on what I did, it hurt me too. We're as bad as each other, Addie. But at night, having you curled up next to me in bed, seeing you in the OR when you're saving a patients life, sitting at work with a patients chart pretending to fill it out when you're thinking about something else. All those little things make me realize how stupid I was to screw up with you. They all make me think of the Addison I fell in love with."

Damnit. Why did he do that? Why did he get her all fired up and then go and be the charming gentleman she remembered? They used to fight, they used to yell so much and not have things like this. No, they did. Derek always caved before Addison, because he hated her being mad at him. There had even been a time when she had been yelling at him over something stupid and refused to speak to him, only for him to go completely out of his way to get her favorite coffee and muffin from a little bakery completely the opposite direction of the hospital in New York. It was the little gestures like that she loved.

"You're an ass, Derek." It was all she could say, nothing else came to mind. As angry as she still felt inside, she couldn't yell, she couldn't cry, she couldn't do anything.

"An ass that you don't mind living in a trailer with? Or an ass that you hate that much you want to leave and go to stay somewhere a little more upmarket?" A small cocky grin came across his lips slightly as he looked at Addison.

Rolling her eyes at his grin, she stepped closer to him taking her hand in his own and giving it an gentle squeeze. "An ass I don't mind living in a trailer with." Leaning in, Addison kissed his lips softly, keeping them lightly against his as she spoke again. "I still hate the trailer."

Maybe they could be _DerekandAddison_ again, maybe they could. It would be a rollercoaster, but they could at least try to be.

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**_Update tomorrow, most likely. Maybe two, since you won't be getting on on Thursday. I have a busy day then._**


	3. I Want MakeUp Sex

**_I'm not happy with this. At all. In fact, I have to admit, I hate it. I do. It's far from being good. I preferred the last one. I don't actually know why it's here. I just wanted to post something, so I didn't leave you hanging on too long. I've had the worst writers block today, along with stupid phone companies annoying me. Although, I did get my hair cut. It's quite nice actually. _**

**_Sadly, I don't own Grey's, Derek, Addison, Patrick, Kate or the trailer. I'd like the trailer a lot though. I'd be happy to live in a trailer. With Patrick if the offer was there. It is only 9 days until I go to Seattle, so it's alright._**

**_Read it. Review it. Tell me how bad it is. I know anyway, so you don't need to tell me how bad it is._**

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There it was, that awful sound of the alarm going off, but Addison didn't want to move from how she was in bed, she had her husband's arms tightly around her and she wasn't ready to move from it. Hearing a groan from the body beside her, she knew that one of them was going to have to move in order to turn it off, and either way, they'd both end up moving. So, when she felt Derek reach across, still keeping one arm tightly around her, she let out a content sigh as the trailer fell silent again. "Why's the alarm going off when I'm not in work today?" She heard her husband mutter groggily, he wasn't a morning person, anyone that knew him, knew that.

"Because I am." She said softly as she let her head rest against his warm chest. After their little fight the night before, they'd ended up just going to bed and falling asleep in each others arms. Although it had been a while since they'd been seriously intimate with one another, Addison had been content in just having his arms around her all night. "Which means I have to get up soon."

Another groan came from Derek, he was comfortable laying where he was, with Addison tightly in his arms, the last thing he wanted was for her to move and go to work. "Soon. Not just yet." He muttered as he ran his hand down her arm, letting his hand rest over her as he intertwined their fingers.

"I set alarms for a reason. Not because I find it amusing to wake you up at ridiculous hours." She muttered as her eyes closed again, she liked how they were right at that moment far too much.

"You must do with the amount of times you kicked me in the night." His voice was still groggy, and he wasn't going to move, he was going to lay there with his arm tightly wrapped around his wife.

"I didn't kick you." She protested, lifting her head up to look at him, a smile on her face as she saw him laying there with his eyes still closed.

"Three times, I believe. Each one a little harder than the previous. I'm gonna have bruises. Actually, it might have been kicking twice and hitting me once. I'm too tired to remember. I'm gonna have bruises though." His tone was somewhat serious, but at the same time he knew that Addison would be able to tell he was joking too.

"I really kicked you?" She asked, this time a little concerned.

"You really kicked me." Derek replied as he opened his eyes, immediately looking into his wife's pools of grey. He couldn't help but smile as he looked at her, she was beautiful, despite her hair being a mess, and the darkness of her eyes, she still looked beautiful.

"I'm sorry." She whispered before leaning in and lightly pressing her lips to his, bringing her hand up to his cheek before running her fingers through his thick head of hair. "I promise I won't hurt you in my sleep anymore."

"Just when you're awake?" Derek teased as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, a small grin appearing on his face.

"Just when I'm awake." She agreed, a grin now on her face. "I should go to work. I have surgery in about two hours, plus I have things to do before."

He was reluctant to let her go, but that was life as a surgeon, he couldn't keep her in bed all day, as much as he wanted to. She'd be home later, they'd have time together later. They still had so much they needed to talk about, but it would happen. Derek wasn't entirely convinced Addison believed him when he said that he was in this for the long haul, but he was going to prove to her he was. He just had to avoid all distractions, well, Meredith Grey. "Fine. I'll let you go, it does mean I can get some sleep without being abused in the night."

"I'll make it up to you." She promised, a sly grin on her lips as she leant down again, this time her lips crashing against his with a little more force.

"You best do." He mumbled against her lips, pulling her on top of him, she still had two hours before she had to be at work, they still had time for a little fun before, right?

"Derek. I don't have time." Trying to pull away, she found it near impossible, she couldn't pull away from him, it was far too comforting being in his arms, him actually wanting her.

"You know, we had a fight last night. Usually after a fight, you get make-up sex. We never got that. We were one of those boring couples who fell asleep, I want make-up sex." Derek stated seriously as he looked up into his wife's eyes. "We can have the fight again if you want. There was something said about the trailer, which always happens. We yelled about her, you yelled about me not caring."

"Shut up, ass." She shook her head in disbelief slightly, but she couldn't help but smile at him.

"An ass you don't mind living in a trailer with. An ass you don't want to leave in bed alone, because you know he gives you a lot more satisfaction than work does." A cocky smirk came across his face, he could be arrogant, but if he wasn't, he wouldn't be Derek Shepherd.

"You're an ass. And I have work." Addison said before giving him a quick peck on the cheek and moving off of Derek and off the bed. Seeing him laying there, she couldn't help but laugh slightly.

"I'm an ass, but you're a bitch." The smirk was still on his face as he looked at Addison, going towards the small 'bathroom' in the trailer.

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_**Alright. So, I added a little bit more. I'm the tiniest bit happier with it now. But not that much. They'll have sex too. Don't worry all you porny people out there. It just has to be right. **_

_**Since now it's a little Derek and Addison fluff, I want to make sure it's right. I have ideas, my friends. Big ideas. Which do happen to include me leaving the country permanently. I need money though. Please leave a review with your donation amount, and I'll give you the address to post it to. =]  
**_


	4. She's My Wife

**In advance, I apologize for the lack of updates lately. I've been on vacation for 3 weeks and my internet access was limited to my cell phone and whenever I could connect to a wireless network. I'm back home now, so expect updates more often. Maybe even another story somewhere alone the road. For now, you'll have to settle for this one.**

**Like always, I don't own Grey's. Although I must admit that I wish I did. I also wish I lived in Seattle. It's pretty damn amazing. I have a photo of Meredith Grey's house. Actually, I have 3. I saw it. And if I live in the States, I would've enquired about the room to rent in the house opposite. No, I'm not stalkerish, but admit that it would be cool to live opposite the Meredith Grey house?! Yeah, a week of my vacation was spent in Seattle. Awesome.**

**This chapter sucks, but I had to post something. So you guys got it anyway.**

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Addison had left for work and Derek was left in bed, he hated it. He really hated it. Sure, his trailer was great, at least Derek thought it was as much as Addison protested. But after getting somewhere with Addison, finally, he didn't like it being empty. Pulling the blankets over himself, Derek tried to get comfortable, but with the empty space beside him, it was near enough impossible. They were getting somewhere, Derek was making an effort in his marriage, something which he had failed to do for such a long time, but now he was determined to make this work. After attempting to get to sleep for about fifteen minutes, Derek sighed before pushing the blankets off of himself and getting out of the bed.

Thirty minutes later, and Derek was on his way to the dock to get the ferry across to Seattle, maybe get some coffee somewhere, surprise Addison at lunch time. Like always, whether it was raining or sunny, Derek made his way outside on the ferry. Everyone seemed to sit inside, go to the little cafe type thing and get their coffee, and sit and watch as it approached Seattle. Derek however, liked to see things as they were, outside. It made the journey much more interesting, at least it did for him. When he heard the announcement for people to head down to their cars, he took a deep breath and smiled to himself before going back inside and downstairs to his car.

When he was in Seattle, Derek spent an hour walking around, heading down to Pike Place Market and seeing everyone who went there. It was something he never got bored of, Seattle wasn't as bad as Addison made it out to be, she just needed to go to the right places to appreciate it. As it got closer to when he guessed Addison would be having her lunch, Derek made his way to Seattle Grace, even though it was his day off, it didn't mean to say he couldn't go in, especially to see Addison. Richard could tell him to leave as much as he wanted, but how often did Derek listen to Richard anyway? It was a rare thing.

After arriving at Seattle Grace, Derek made his way inside, only to be caught alone in an elevator with Meredith Grey. "Hey." She muttered as she looked up at him.

"Hi." He responded, he knew that he should let her know that whatever it was they had was over, but for some reason right at that moment, he wasn't in the mood to do it. Silence filled the air until the elevator reached the floor they both wanted and as the doors opened, he heard Meredith's voice once again.

"We haven't spoken in a while, Derek. I was just...." Meredith was stopped, by the sound of Derek's voice, his eyes in a different direction. Looking where he was, she saw Addison at the nurses station looking through a chart.

"I can't do this." Derek interrupted, his eyes remaining on Addison. "That woman up there is my wife, and I've screwed up with her in the past. I did in New York and I'm not going to do it again." Derek paused as he turned his head slightly to look at Meredith. "I'm sorry for hurting you, Meredith, I am. But you have to understand that she's my wife and I can't let this carry on."

"I won't be here when it falls apart, Derek. You can't expect me to just sit around and wait." She stated quietly but firmly.

"I don't. I want you to move on and be happy. Because as much work as it's going to take, my marriage isn't going to fall apart." As he said those last words, he looked back at Addison who was now looking in his direction, a look of annoyance clearly spread on her face.

"I'll find someone. But you should go, because I don't seem to be her favorite person as it is and I'm not going to make things worse for either of us."

"Thank you." Derek smiled gratefully at Meredith, before walking towards his wife, who had started to walk away as soon as she saw him heading in her direction. "Addison." He called, walking a little faster to catch up with her. "Listen to me, Addie." Taking her arm, he pulled her aside from everyone else, standing close to her.

"I thought I told you to stop talking to her, Derek!"

"I thought I told you that I couldn't walk in today and just ignore her!" He retaliated, pulling her into the nearest on call room, sighing gratefully when he saw it was empty.

"Why are you even here, Derek? You're meant to be off today." She muttered, avoiding eye contact with her husband.

"Come on Addie. This morning we were fine, we were better than we've been in a long time. Suddenly, you see me talking to Meredith for a minute and you change. You want to know what I was talking to her about?" Derek asked, his voice raised slightly. "I told her that I couldn't do it any more, that what she and I had is over. And that you're my wife and I'm not going to screw up things with you again. I wasn't even thinking of anything but wanting to be standing beside you. Alright?"

"You said you weren't going to just ignore her today." She said curiously.

"I didn't. I told her. She said she wouldn't be there when it all fell apart, and I told her it wasn't going to. Because it's not." He stated firmly, he believed it as well, they weren't going to fall apart. Even if he had to do all the fighting for his marriage now, he was going to make sure that he done it.

"Why are you here?" She muttered, moving closer to Derek, so that their bodies were touching slightly. "You're meant to be off today, you were in bed complaining about not getting enough sleep when I left. Now you're here, being all you and sweet and charming. What did you do?"

"I've done nothing. I couldn't sleep, and I decided to come over and see if my wife wanted to go somewhere for lunch, even if it is only the cafeteria." Letting his arm slip around her waist, Derek pulled her close, pressing his lips to hers for a few seconds.

"I have surgery in about twenty minutes. But after that my day is free. Well, paperwork." She replied.

"Paperwork which you can do away from the hospital, so you can spend time with your charming husband for a few hours?"

"Charming?" Addison scoffed, laughing a little.

"Hey. You know I can be."

"I know. You don't need anyone to make your ego any bigger, it's pretty big as it is. You succeed all by yourself." She teased, letting her head rest on his shoulder. "After surgery, it's us time. I promise."


	5. With Your Name And Little Hearts

**I apologise for the lack of updates. Work seems to have taken over. And, believe it or not, I've actually had a social life! Crazy, I know.**

**Still, I don't own Grey's Anatomy. Nor do I own Derek or Addison. But on the way to my sisters house, there is this house which has an Airstream Trailer in their driveway! I want it! But I doubt they'd sell it to my for what little money I actually have.**

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It was impossible to ignore him, or be mad at him in anyway at all. Especially when he was being sweet and charming, and the man that Addison had fallen in love with back in Med school. She hated it, she wanted to be mad at him for so many reasons, but she couldn't. One look at that smile and she felt as though she just melted, as though every single problem they ever had just disappeared. So, watching him as he sat in the lobby looking through a magazine, Addison couldn't help but smile to herself. Even though it had been his day off and he could have done anything, he could've gone fishing, spent the day watching the ferry boats, or anything away from the hospital for that matter. He had spent the day at the hospital, with her. There had been her surgery, but she had looked up to see him sitting in the gallery watching her, and for the first time in a long time, Addison had felt herself blush slightly because of his presence.

Walking up to him, Addison sat on the seat beside him and leant her head on his shoulder as she looked down at the magazine he was looking through. "Hey." She mumbled, trying to hold in a yawn, but failing miserably.

"Someone tired?" He asked with a small grin as he closed the magazine, leaning forward to put it on the small table in front of them, causing Addison to move her head quickly.

"A little." She lied. She could easily just fall asleep there given the opportunity, but she knew that Derek wasn't going to let her just fall asleep in the lobby. "Derek?" Addison questioned as she looked up at her husband.

"Yeah?" He replied, looking at Addison as he stood up.

"Why did you come in today? I mean, you could've gone fishing or something. Something where I didn't have to be around, but you were here, all day. You were here." She knew he had said that he wanted to spend time with her, but she couldn't help but think there was something more to it, something he wasn't telling her.

Holding out his hand to help Addison up from her seat once he was standing, Derek let out a soft sigh and kissed her gently on the lips once she was standing. "I wanted to take you to lunch." He said simply as he picked up his briefcase before taking her hand in his free one.

"Derek." She warned gently, she wasn't going to fall for that thing, that was what he had said before, but there was something else behind it. "We're meant to be making this work, and how exactly is it going to work if you don't talk to me?" Walking outside, she let go of his hand and pushed both of hers into her coat pockets, she had a feeling that she wasn't going to get anywhere with him, but she wanted to try.

"We are working this out, Addie. If we weren't, I wouldn't have shown up here today, would I?" He asked as he glanced at her walking along beside her. "Where did you park? Or we could leave your car here and take mine?"

"I'm over there." She nodded in the direction of her car. "You'll be leaving before me in the morning, so if we just went separately, that would be best." Addison continued to walk in the direction of her car and she was unsure of whether he was actually following her or not until she felt his arm around her waist pulling her close.

"You'd get mad." Derek said quietly as he tightened his grip ever so slightly around Addison.

"What do you mean, I'd get mad?" She turned to face him, moving away from him slightly as she looked at him. "Derek?"

"I... You'd get mad, Addie."

"You've already told me that, Derek. What would I get mad about? I'd like to know that." She asked, feeling a little annoyed now.

"I hate it when you get mad. I mean, I like it because you look gorgeous when you're angry, but I hate the yelling." His voice was quiet, a lot quieter than it usually was when Addison started to raise her voice at him, he usually done the same back to her.

"If it makes it any better, I won't yell." She sighed as she spoke, still keeping a slight distance from her husband as she looked at him expectantly.

"Promise?" He whispered as he kept his eyes on her

That look, she couldn't say no, she didn't promise, not with that look on his face. She hated him, right at that second, she hated him. "I promise." Actually, she hated herself more for agreeing to it.

"I came to see Meredith." He mumbled, glancing away from Addison for a few seconds before looking back, and he could tell she wanted to yell, that she regretted promising him that she wouldn't.

"You... You came to see... Meredith?" She questioned, barely able to get her words out. They were trying to make things work and her husband hadn't come into work to see her, he had come in to see his little intern. "So, you didn't want lunch with me really? It was just because I saw you talking to her, that you just happened to ask me to go to lunch with you."

"No!" Derek said firmly as he looked at her, his voice louder than before. "No. If I could've done, I would've spent all day with you Addie, and I did. Kind of. Even when you were in surgery, I sat there in the gallery watching you. Then, I was actually with you for the rest of the day." Derek let out a sigh as he looked down at the ground for a few seconds, before looking back up to Addison. "I came in to see Meredith. I'm not gonna deny that. I didn't come to start up anything again, I couldn't do that to you again. I just wanted to clear the air, make sure she knew that you were it for me, that I wasn't going to leave you again. I wanted her to know that before I was back at work, before I made some stupid mistake of being around her constantly tomorrow. It's only fair she knows where she stands, and she knows that I'm in my marriage until the end." Derek knew he could say more, but he chose to leave it at that in hope that Addison would no longer be mad at him.

"That's not the point, Derek. You came in to see her, you didn't come in to see me, like you said. You lied, Derek." Addison stated as she began to look through her purse for her car keys, once she found them, she looked back up at Derek and let out a sigh. "I get that you lied to keep me happy, but right now, I'm not. If you'd just told me earlier, when I saw you talking to her, we wouldn't be standing here like this."

"I'm sorry, Addie. I am. I just knew you'd get like this, and I didn't want you to." Derek had a feeling that even though it wasn't the biggest lie ever, Addison wasn't going to just let it go easily.

"I'll see you back at the trailer." She muttered before turning back around to her car, only to be stopped by Derek's hand on her arm. "What?" She asked as she turned back around only to be met by his lips. Nothing too much, just a soft kiss on the lips.

"I love you." Derek said quietly before letting go of her arm and turning away, walking back to his car. She could be mad at him all she wanted to be, but Derek wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't going to walk away from her to suddenly change his mind about Meredith. He was going to give her some space, they'd make their way back to the trailer separately and maybe if her mood had changed, they'd talk then.

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He loved her. Derek Shepherd still loved her. Even though he had said that he did when they had their fight, something about the way he had said it then was different. The way she had turned to just leave him standing there and was pulled back by her husband just so he could place a simple kiss on her lips, followed by those three words she hadn't really heard in such a long time. God, she hated her husband. Addison hated her husband for making her feel this way. He was an ass, and she wanted to be mad at him, she needed to be mad at him, but how could she do that when he was saying things like that to her.

"Damnit Derek." She muttered to herself as she sat in her car after taking the ferry across to Bainbridge Island. There weren't that many cars on it, so it wasn't long before she was driving off and heading in the direction of the trailer. After he had left her standing there, Addison had managed to get into her car, but she just sat there thinking about everything that had been happening between the two of them. Derek Christopher Shepherd was an ass, and he shouldn't be able to make her feel that way just by placing his lips to hers for a few seconds. But she loved it, she absolutely loved the feeling.

After the short drive to the trailer, she saw his car already parked, and then she noticed him sitting out on the porch, with a beer in his hand. Turning the engine off, Addison grabbed her purse from the passenger seat before getting out of the car and walking in the direction of the trailer, in the direction of her husband. Without saying a word, Addison just sat beside him and reached for the beer that was in his hand and took a sip of it before handing it back to him.

"I love you too." She whispered as she began to fiddle with the zipper on her purse. Hearing her husband laugh slightly, Addison looked up at him confused. She'd just told him she loved him and he was laughing.

"You really had to have a drink before you told me that?" He teased as he put his arm around her and pulled her in to himself.

Knowing that he wasn't laughing at the fact that she had told him she loved him, Addison smiled a little and leant into her husband, placing her hand on his thigh. "Shut up. You didn't give me chance to say it before, you just walked away."

"Because I didn't want you to yell at me for doing that, I wanted to give you time to calm down. I didn't want to stand there in the parking lot and have an argument with you, Addie." Derek said honestly as he placed his beer down and turned to face Addison a little more. "I get that you're annoyed with me, Addie. I'm sorry that I lied over something so stupid, but you reacted exactly like I knew you would. I didn't want you to be in a bad mood with everyone at work because of me. Plus, I wanted to spend time with you. I still enjoy watching you work."

"You've gotta be honest with me, Derek. We're just going to keep going round in circles if you're not honest with me." Addison leant in and pressed her lips to his, like he had done earlier in the parking lot, before letting out a small content sigh when she pulled away. "You used to distract me back when we were studying. You sitting there watching me always put me off."

"You loved it."

"I'm not denying that. But I could never concentrate."

"And now?"

"Some things never change. The whole time you sat in my office today, I didn't do anything. I had a blank piece of paper and I spend that hour scribbling on it." She felt herself blush as she looked into his eyes, but the smile was spread across her face.

"With my name and little hearts around it?" He teased, leaning in for yet another kiss.

"With your name and little hearts around it. Happy?" She replied before kissing him softly.

"Always." He mumbled against her lips, pulling her closer to himself as he wrapped his arms around her.


	6. You Forced Me

**Another update for you. It's nothing much. But I had it written and decided to post it before I either forgot, or wrote something else up. So, this is it. I can guarantee that you porny people out there will be getting sex soon. It was going to be this chapter, but I want to actually be able to think properly while I write that scene. And since I'm tired at the moment, it's not happening. Until then, you'll have to deal with ADDEK fluff. Sorry. =]**

**Reviews are appreciated. And still, I own nothing. Well, the laptop I'm on at the moment, enabling me to give you updates, I own that. Along with a cat. And a box. I do, I'm lucky enough to own a box. =] It's empty though.**

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"I'm not going. I'll stay in bed and you can go." Addison mumbled against her pillow as she pulled the sheets over her body a little more. Derek had decided that since they had two days off together, that they should go camping. Camping. Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd did not go camping. Not for anyone. But the way that Derek had suggested it, the way he had kissed that spot on her neck as he held her close, telling her he loved her, Addison couldn't say no. It had been almost two weeks since their stupid little fights about Meredith Grey, and the sex since then had been amazing. It hadn't been until that night that she realised just what she had been missing out on for so long. Just what they had both been missing out on for so long.

"Addie." Derek pleaded as he looked at the slender figure still laying in their bed. "Do I really have to drag you out of bed to come with me? It's two nights, then we can go and stay in some fancy hotel for a week, I don't care."

"Really?" Addison glanced sleepily up at her husband who was already dressed, holding a coffee cup in his hand.

"Really." He said with a smile as he held the coffee out towards her, laughing when she made the most pathetic attempt to reach for it. "You don't get it until you get out of bed."

"I'm naked." She responded as she rolled onto her back, looking up at Derek.

"And what point do you have in telling me you're naked?" He rolled his eyes as he watched Addison shrug her shoulders slightly and pointed to her dressing gown that was hanging up. "You want me to pass that to you? Addison, you do realise how many times I've seen you naked, right? I've been married to you for almost twelve years, I've seen you naked."

"Yes, but all those times, you've been naked too. This time, you're dressed and I'm not. So, if you want me to go on this stupid camping trip of yours, you'll pass me my dressing gown." Addison smiled sweetly at him, holding out her hand waiting for him to give her the dressing gown and when he did, she wrapped it around her body whilst still in bed before stepping out and walking over to her husband. "Good morning." She muttered as she took the coffee from him and smiled to herself as she took a sip of the hot liquid.

"Good morning." He replied, pressing his lips to the top of her head softly. "Are you going to get dressed? Or just go like that?"

"I'm going to get dressed, after I've had a shower." She said with a smirk, taking another sip of the liquid before handing the cup back to Derek. Seeing the look on his face, she pressed her lips to his softly and smiled as she pulled away. "I won't be long. You could join me, since this would be the last time you're going to get any sex until we're in a nice warm hotel room." She said seriously as she looked at him.

"Tonight, you'll complain you're cold, you'll ask me to keep you warm and move closer to me. One thing will lead to another, and you'll be naked and so will I. I won't need to wait until we're in a hotel room for sex, Addie." Derek was certain that something like that would happen, but he wasn't going to say no to sex when they were in the hotel either. Not with how things had been lately.

"Someone is sure of themselves." Addison said with a grin before kissing her husband on the cheek and letting the robe fall from her as she stepped into the small shower, closing the door behind her. She knew that Derek was right, but she wasn't going to let him know that, she wasn't going to let him be the one telling her what she would be doing.

Fifteen minutes later, Addison was out of the shower and staring down at what Derek had placed out for her to wear. "Derek, I can't wear that." She complained as she looked up at him.

"You're not wearing anything ridiculous like heels, Addie. Even if they were appropriate to wear, I don't want to endure 48 hours of you complaining that you ruined your eight hundred dollar shoes." Derek said firmly, placing his hand on the small of her back. "I promise you, that you'll look beautiful."

"I hate you." She responded and hit his arm playfully before proceeding to get dressed. He was right though, if she had picked out what she was going to wear, she would've chosen something impractical, and she would've complained about everything.

"You love me." Derek laughed as he walked out of the trailer, leaving his wife in peace to get dressed, almost another fifteen minutes later, Addison walked out of the trailer, her hair dried, but not straightened and tied up in a messy bun. Something he rarely saw anymore with Addison. Yet she still looked beautiful. Getting up from his seat, Derek walked over to his wife and smirked at her. "Told you that you'd look beautiful."

Playfully punching him again, Addison looked down at herself with a pout on her face before looking back up at Derek. "I look horrible, Derek. Don't try and flatter me with all this. I still hate the fact that you're forcing me to do this."

"I don't think I forced you to do anything, you agreed." Derek said smugly as he took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly.

"You forced me." She snapped, pulling her hand back from him as she looked down at the things he had packed. There didn't seem enough for the two of them, but it was two nights, and he had promised her that if she hated it that much, they could go back to the trailer, or the hotel as he had promised her that morning.

"Ready to go?"

"I guess. I still don't like the idea of this, Derek." Addison said as she looked back up at him, this time she really didn't look impressed at the thought of going camping.

"You'll be fine, Addie. I won't leave your side, other than to go to the bathroom. But I won't leave your side." Slipping his arms around Addison, he pulled her in for a hug, holding her close to himself for a short while before slowly pulling away. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

* * *

A couple of hours later, they were there, at the lake, with their things in a pile and Addison sitting on a rock looking at her husband. She couldn't help but smile as she watched him put up the tent, although she had no idea what she was doing, she stood up from where she was sitting and walked over to him. "Want some help?" She asked as she pushed her hands into his jacket pockets which she was now wearing.

"Feeling bad about sitting there watching me?" He asked with a small grin as he looked up at her, and when she nodded her head, Derek chuckled slightly as he stepped closer to her. "Thank you for the offer, but I'm fine. Give me five minutes and it will be up, I promise. You can go and walk a little if you want." Derek leant in and kissed her cheek softly, before he watched her quietly walk away from him down towards the lake. Even though she had been against the idea, seeing the smile on her face when they reached their destination, he knew she wouldn't find it so bad after all.

Like Derek had said, five minutes later and their tent was up, placed on a soft piece of ground, so Addison wouldn't complain too much, and he put their things in the tent before walking down to the lake towards Addison and he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and felt her leant against his chest. "Not so bad after all, is it?"

Letting out a defeated sigh, Addison shook her head slightly as she turned in her husbands eyes and leant her head on his shoulder. "No. It's not." Addison wrapped her arms around his waist and held him close, letting her eyes close as she took in the moment of standing there with her husband.

"Does that mean you'll listen to me more often?" He asked as he gently rubbed her back whilst holding close and he felt her nod her head against him. "We have food for tonight, so if you're wanting, we can start a fire?"

"A real camp fire?" Addison asked with a small grin looking up at Derek.

"A real camp fire, Addie." Moving his arms from around Addison, Derek took her hand in his own and walked back in the direction of their tent. It wasn't going to be so bad after all, Addison didn't hate it, and even though she hadn't been there that long, he had a feeling that her opinion wouldn't change that much.


	7. We Never Went Camping

**Apologies for the lack of updates, but work, social life and lack of creativity for this fic have kept me from doing anything. Hopefully, I'm back into the swing of things now. I have ideas for the next few chapters, so don't worry. Hopefully it won't take forever for me to update it again. Also, sorry this is so short!  
**

**I'm hoping that you're actually still reading it to be honest.**

**Anyway, still owning nothing. I invested in Season 1 of Private Practice on DVD the other day. Along with Can't Buy Me Love. Just to see Patrick in his younger years. Anyway, all the characters belong to Shonda, the legend that she is.**

**Review, please.  
**

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The camp fire was lit, and if Addison was sitting any closer to it, she would actually be on top of it. She thought it looked amazing, especially with the view of the lake in front of them, but letting Derek know that was a whole different story. It wasn't going to happen, she was going to stick to being her stubborn self, at least until she got something to drink down her and Derek had promised her wine. Which was what he was looking for in their things, and by the sound of things, he wasn't having much luck with it. Letting out a soft sigh, Addison pulled her knees up to her chest and let her chin rest on it as she looked out to the lake.

She was completely lost in her own little world, she hardly noticed Derek sitting behind her, his legs either side of her and the bottle of wine and glasses beside them. "Hey." She whispered as she leant back against him.

"You alright?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around Addison's waist, holding her against himself.

"I'm fine." She replied as she closed her eyes for a few seconds. "Derek? Why didn't you ever take me camping back in New York?"

"You wanting to come more often now, and regretting not going sooner?" He teased as he kissed the back of her head softly.

"No, I was just wondering, that was all. You never took me, we always went to fancy hotels, or to places which never seemed to interest you. We never went camping." She felt bad, sitting there with him, she felt bad. She had known all along that this was what Derek enjoyed and she had never given it a chance, she had always been set on going somewhere like their little hotel in Vermont for a few nights away. Never camping.

"Because you never liked the idea. I always knew you wanted to go to places that actually had a warm bed, a fireplace, a kitchen, a bathroom with a shower that had room for two. Not a camping trip."

"We have a fireplace here, which is also a kitchen. The bed, you promised to keep me warm and as for the shower, there's this beautiful lake down there with room for two." Addison said with a smile as she looked up at her husband. Maybe that whole not letting him know just how she felt thing wasn't going to work, it was impossible to deny just how beautiful it was, and she had Derek there with her. His arms wrapped tightly around her, she was happy.

"You like camping." He said simply in response to what she had said, a grin on his lips.

"I like being with you, spending time with you away from everything that's been going on. You like camping, so by proxy, I have to like camping." She stated with a smile still on her face, leaning up to kiss Derek softly on the lips. It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be, the camping, not the kissing her husband. That part was always good. Next time he suggested it, she wouldn't be so quick to say no.

"You like camping." Derek repeated himself, his lips lightly against Addison's. Whether she still liked it in the morning, Derek didn't care, as long as they got the rest of the day like this, it was all that mattered.

"I may like camping, but I don't like you right at this moment." Addison said softly, as she moved so that she was facing him a little more. It wasn't the comfiest of positions, but it meant she could look at her husband a lot easier than she could before.

"You like camping, but you love me."

The red head couldn't help but roll her eyes, her husband was right, she did love him and she was glad to have him back, the man she fell in love with back in med school. "Shut up." Was all she replied with before pressing her lips firmly against his, but she felt him pull away only seconds later, giving him a confused look as he stood up and walked towards the tent. "Derek?" She questioned, pulling her legs to her chest once again.

"Just be patient, Addie." Derek said as he opened the tent and grabbed the two blankets he had packed before walking back over to Addison. Laying one of them down, on the ground, Derek placed the other beside it and held out his hand towards Addison as he sat down. "Come here." He said when she took his hand and he pulled her closer to himself.

"Derek." She began to complain, but she couldn't, he looked so good sitting there, an innocent look on his face. Moving closer, Addison straddled his lap as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her upper body firmly against his. As creepy as having sex outside was, she also found it kind of romantic, the thought of making love to her husband underneath the moonlight. "This been your plan all along? Get me naked outdoors?" She asked with a grin on her lips as she held onto him tightly.

"I never said anything about you getting naked, but if you want, I won't say no." Derek responded with a smirk as he looked at his wife, holding her close. "I'll make sure you're warm, Addie."

Addison didn't say anything, she just responded with leaning in and pressing her lips firmly against Derek's. Even though it wasn't exactly Addison's ideal place to be this way with Derek, it felt right. They were completely alone and enjoying one another's company, it wasn't as though someone was suddenly going to turn up and catch them. There was more chance of that happening at the trailer than there was where they were. Addison suddenly pulled away from Derek, her eyes looking into his. "Derek? There's nothing out here that's likely to, you know..."

"Attack us?" Derek interrupted with a smile on his face as he looked at Addison. "No, there's not. Just me and you. Who has far too many clothes on." As he spoke, Derek laid down, pulling Addison on top of him as he began to caress her body gently.

"So do you." She mumbled as her lips caught his again, pressing herself against the bulge in her husbands pants to tease him a little. This man could arouse her with the smallest of touches, and just feeling the bulge in his pants had managed it. There was still their underwear and their pants stopping anything from happening, but Addison could feel herself getting moist already.

Derek's hands cupped Addison's ass as he pressed himself up against her, letting her feel himself in his pants before rolling over so that Addison was underneath him. He wanted to make sure she was really enjoying herself, and Derek knew exactly how to do that. Derek felt Addison's legs wrap around his waist, holding him against her and he broke away from the kiss, a grin on his face. "Patience, Addie." Derek muttered as he grabbed her legs and moved them from around his waist.

The look in her husband's eyes told Addison that this wasn't going to be some quick thing, the two of them being intimate with one another before going to sleep. Derek had that glint in his eye, one which he had whenever he wanted to please Addison, make sure she didn't hold back anything. It had been a while since she'd seen this side of her husband, but maybe she had him back now. No, she definitely had him back. She had the man she had fallen in love with back, finally.

Derek had been stupid, it was simple. To let Addison go in the first place, he loved this woman, he really did. It had hurt to walk in on what he had, but Derek deserved it, he had pushed Addison into Mark's arms, and he deserved it. Now though, none of that mattered, he had her back, they had each other back. Addison was in the middle of no where with him and for the first time in a while, Derek wanted Addison to know just how much he loved her. He was going to show her, he was going to take his time in pleasing Addison.

"Derek," Addison whispered softly looking up at her husband, she wanted him so much, but she'd be content with just laying there in his arms looking up at the stars through the trees. She knew Derek had other ideas though, and she wasn't going to stop him.

"Yeah?" Derek mumbled as he placed small kisses along her neck, a smile on his face.

"I love you." Addison sighed, her eyes closing slightly at the feelings of her husbands lips against her.

"I love you too." Derek replied as he looked up at Addison, a smile on his face. She looked absolutely beautiful, she really did. Why Derek had ever made the mistake of letting her slip away from him, he had no idea, but it wasn't ever going to happen again. They were going to grow old together, hopefully way before that, they'd have a child. Even if it was just the one, Derek hoped that it would happen.

Derek held himself where he was for a bit longer, just looking down at Addison, and he was actually surprised she didn't say anything about him stopping, but the steady breathing that was coming from her caused Derek to roll his eyes. "You fell asleep." He whispered simply as he laid down beside her, pulling the other blanket over the two of them as he wrapped his arm tightly around her waist. "Goodnight, Addison." He leant in and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. As much as he'd wanted to have sex with her right where they were, the look on her face as she slept peacefully beside him, that was more than enough to bring a smile to his face and make him feel content. He had his Addison back.


	8. Six Months

**I still own absolutely nothing. Nothing. Characters belong to Shonda and Co. Sorry.**

**This chapter is nothing like I had intended. In fact, only the first few paragraphs are what I had planned. The rest just kind of came and I wrote. Still, not great, but I'm trying my best to make up for lack of updates.**

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It had been a week since they'd got back from their camping trip. A ridiculously long week. Well, at least in Derek's opinion it had been a long week and he was just ready to have a day off work, away from the hospital, away from the gossip, away from everything but Addison. Things had been good since they got back, and Addison had got what she wanted. Even though they had a perfectly good trailer – that was Derek's opinion – she wanted a hotel. A nice, fancy hotel, with room service. That was what Addison got, so for the past week, they'd been going back to a hotel which was only fifteen minutes drive from the hospital, rather than the fifteen minute drive to the dock, the thirty minute ferry ride across, and then the fifteen minute drive to the trailer. Derek couldn't help but agree that it was much more convienient.

Still, he missed the trailer he missed the open space, the fact that he could sit on their porch and look at that amazing view, whereas now, he got a view of Seattle, which he wasn't complaining about, but it wasn't quite the same. Addison was happy though, and if Addison was happy, who was he to complain? He wasn't. Because it kept a smile on her face most of the time, and that brought a smile to Derek's face.

He had three more hours, providing everything went well in the OR when he went in for the surgery in ten minutes, but he hoped that it did. In fact, he was a hundred percent certain that things would be absolutely fine. After all, he was Derek Shepherd. Alright, a little too much arrogance, but he knew what he was doing. It was as simple as that.

As he made his way down to the OR, he heard a familiar voice behind him, and he turned around to see Addison quickening her pace to match his, smiling as she saw him turn around. Things were good, they really were. "Hey." She said softly as she approached him, her hands pushed into her lab coat pockets.

"Hey yourself." Derek replied, a small grin on his face as he watched his wife, she seemed nervous, which wasn't something that usually came across Addison. It looked cute on her though. "You all right?" Derek questioned, brushing some of her red hair from her face, seeing her cheeks turn the slightest shade of pink from his touch. It amazed him how he still had that effect on her after all these years.

"Fine." She replied, taking her hands out of her lab coat pockets, looking around the two of them before back to Derek, who was looking at her in a way that made her heart race that little bit faster. "I'm fine." She assured him, nodding her head this time, still unsure of herself.

"You're lying." Derek stated simply, leaning in and pressing his lips softly against hers, before pulling away only seconds later. "I have surgery to get to, but I'd like to know what's bothering my wife before I go in."

It still made her melt. Well, there were two things, the first, whenever he said those three little words to her, and second, when he called her his wife. It wasn't with anger, or bitterness, it was filled with love, concern, all the good things really. "I'm fine." This time, it was more of a sigh than anything else, and she gently pushed his arm as she continued. "Go save a life. I'll see you back at the trailer."

At those last words, Derek couldn't help but chuckle softly as he rolled his eyes, stepping closer to her as his arm slipped around her waist. "That's it? The fact that you have to sleep in the trailer tonight?"

"I hate the trailer. It doesn't have room service, or a big comfy bed, or a shower big enough for both of us, or a sofa for me to fall asleep on because I don't like sleeping in the bed without you." Addison felt her cheeks turn a brighter shade of pink at her last reason, and she looked down at the ground, avoiding eye contact with her husband.

"Go to the hotel. Fall asleep on the sofa watching your crap movie, when I get back, we'll order room service and then we'll take a shower together and then maybe, you might get lucky in that big comfy bed."

"You sure?" Addison questioned, reluctantly bringing her gaze back up to meet his.

"It makes you happy, and seeing you happy, it's enough for me." Derek paused, pressing his lips lightly against Addison's once again, before continuing. "Plus, I can deal with sleeping in a hotel for a while longer."

"I love you." Addison replied softly, looking up into her husbands blue eyes, a smile on her face.

"I love you too. But I'll see you back at the hotel in a few hours." Right at that moment, Derek wanted nothing more than to just go home with his wife, watch some crap movie with her, and fall asleep. But he had to go into surgery and not see her again for a few hours.

"Go save a life, Derek Shepherd." Addison said, as she gently pushed his arm slightly once again.

"Go get some sleep, Addison Montgomery-Shepherd." Derek teased, placing another quick kiss on his wife's lips before turning back around and continuing his way back to the OR.

**Derek&AddisonDerek&AddisonDerek&AddisonDerek&AddisonDerek&AddisonDerek&AddisonDerek&Addison**

Things had gone well in surgery, in fact, it hadn't been as long as what Derek had expected. It had began with his usual line of; It's a beautiful day to save lives. Let's have some fun. There'd been a bit of friendly banter between him and Miranda Bailey, which he could only assume was because he had made a choice, and he wasn't messing Meredith around any longer. He was trying his best to be professional about the situation, but it hadn't always gone so well. Meredith appeared to be handling the situation much better than her friends were, at least it felt that way.

When he left the OR two hours later, a nice easy surgery, he went down to fill out some paperwork, only to see Addison still sitting on one of the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting are. Of all places she chose to sit, he had no idea why she was sitting there. Taking the file with him, Derek walked over to where she was, taking the seat beside her as she looked up from the space on the ground she'd been staring at for who knew how long. "You're still here." Derek stated softly, opening the chart as he looked at his wife.

"Yeah, I... I'm still here." She said quietly, leaning against his shoulder as she watched him began to write something on the chart. Smiling as she saw his messy scrawl, amazed that some people managed to read it.

"Mind if I ask why?" Derek question, still filling out the chart.

"I just am."

"Been sitting here the whole time?" He asked, lifting his head up and turning it slightly as he pressed his lips against the top of her head softly.

"Something like that." Addison answered with a sigh, as she looked up at Derek. "Are you finished?"

"Almost, why?"

"Just wondered."

She was being distant and Derek didn't like it. Had he forgotten something? Their anniversary wasn't for another two months, her birthday was three months away, he wasn't bothered when his was. This wasn't a significant date in their diaries, he knew it wasn't. So, that didn't explain Addison's mood. Maybe it wasn't just the hotel after all, maybe there was something more. "Talk to me." Derek said as he closed the chart and reached for her hand. "How is this meant to work if you don't talk to me?" He copied her words from a few weeks before, unsure of whether it would help the situation or not.

It caused Addison to smile as she looked at him, she couldn't help it. His choice of words had brought that smile to her face, and she gently nudged his arm, still holding onto his hand firmly. "Nice one, Dr. Shepherd." She teased, before her face turning serious almost instantly. "Six months." That was all she said, letting go of Derek's hand as she leant back in the chair. "Go finish up, I want to go back to the hotel." It wasn't home, so she couldn't call it home, but it was a nice change from the trailer.

"All right, but we're talking when we get back there. I don't care how much you try to avoid it, we're talking. I'm worried about you." Derek placed a kiss on the top of her head as she stood up, smiling softly at her before walking away, putting the chart back at the nurses station.

All he really had to do was go and check on a couple of his patients, then he was done and free to go home. But he couldn't help but wonder what Addison had meant; six months. What was six months? He wasn't sure, but it meant something to Addison, and he was going to find out.

Twenty minutes later, after checking on his patients, Derek was in the attendings locker room changing into his usual attire of jeans and shirt, grabbing his jacket before making his way back towards Addison, who was still sitting in the same position as he had left her. As he stopped walking, about twenty feet from where she was, it hit him, he knew what she meant. He knew exactly what she meant by 'six months'. Taking a deep breath, Derek began to walk over to where she was, when suddenly, Miranda Bailey appeared in front of him, almost as though it was out of no where.

"What did you do?" She asked, that annoyed tone in her voice.

"Nothing. Not this time. It's just... I don't know how to explain it. We have things to talk about, a lot more than I thought." Derek said absently, his eyes remaining on his wife the whole time, who had looked up and caught his eye.

"You best not be lying, Shepherd." She glanced behind her, at Addison who was slowly making her way towards the two of them.

"I'm not. She means everything to me, I'm not screwing up again." Derek said honestly, holding his hand out towards Addison who was almost at them. As he felt her hand slip into his, he gave it a gentle squeeze as Addison moved closer.

"He's done nothing, Miranda. But thank you for looking out for me." Addison said softly, looking at the short woman who had been talking to her husband only moments before.

"It's alright. Have a good night, you two." Bailey said before turning and walking away, unsure of whether the couple were as happy as they'd been making themselves out to be.

Once Miranda had left, Derek turned to Addison, stepping closer to her as he spoke quietly. "Six months, huh?"

"You figured it out." She whispered, looking back up into Derek's eyes.

"I figured it out."

"Can we talk about things away from here?" Addison questioned lightly, glancing around at the few people who were looking at them, before back to Derek.

"At home." Derek said quietly, as he gently pulled her hand and began to walk down the hallway.

"It's not home." She reminded him gently, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"It's home for now." Derek responded, looking at his wife, a small smile on his face. It was home until they got something more permanent. Because even though he missed the trailer, he didn't miss Addison complaining about it all the time.


	9. A Hundred Steps

**First off, I'm apologizing for the 'delay' on this. I went to Alton Towers today, and it was much fun! Other than the screaming girls at the whole 'Jelly Bean' thing. I didn't quite get that. It was amazing anyway, and it didn't rain! Which is also a plus, considering it was meant I hadn't gone there, this would've probably been written this morning rather than now.**

**I'm apologizing in advance too, because I'm not sure how good this is going to be. I'm kind of tired, but I wanted to give you guys an update, because I'm nice like that.**

**I still own nothing, I did get a cup thing from Alton Towers today though. It cost me £5. Crazy, really. But I appreciated the 'free' refills of it all day.**

**Reviews are appreciated, as much as my 'free' refills were. If not, more so.**

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The drive back to the hotel was silent, well other than the occasional little question between the two, about a movie and dinner, that was it. They had things to talk about, and even though it wasn't something that either one of them wanted to bring up, it wasn't going to stop them. Derek wasn't running, neither was Addison. They were sticking together, they had proved that much in the fifteen minute drive back, because neither had yelled, or said the slightest painful remark, or anything really. Derek had reached across and taken Addison's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, reassuring her that he was there for her.

That small gesture had brought the tiniest of smiles to Addison's face, as she had looked down at their hands together, the way they fitted perfectly with one another. The smile had remained on her face as she looked up at Derek, who had glanced over at her momentarily before his eyes were back on the road. There had been nothing more that Derek wanted than to just put his arms around her and hold her closer, let her know that things were fine, that _they_ were fine.

Standing in the elevator going up to their floor, Addison let her head rest against Derek's shoulder, her hand still gripping his firmly, almost as if she was afraid that if she let go of it, she'd lose him suddenly. "You alright?" Derek questioned softly as the elevator doors opened at their floor, he knew that she wasn't, the look on her face told him that, but he couldn't stop himself from asking it.

"Tired." Addison replied walking down the hallway with Derek to their room, letting go of his hand as he went to get the keycard from his wallet. As she watched him take it out and open the door, Addison looked up at him, reaching up and brushing her fingers lightly through some of his hair. "We still talking?" She questioned lightly, hoping that they would be.

"I think we should." Derek answered, a small smile on his lips at the feeling of her fingers through his hair as he opened the door and held it for her, before he too walked into their room.

"Good." It wasn't much of an answer, but she was glad that he wasn't going to brush it aside completely. She was glad that they were talking. "We're making things work." Addison stated as she took her jacket off, whilst slipping her shoes off of her feet.

"We're making things work." Derek agreed as he too removed his own jacket, hanging it up before taking Addison's from hers and hanging it up for her. "You want to order room service first? I might even let you choose." He needed to keep the tone light, he didn't want arguments or anything, he just wanted to talk to her. To show her that he was in this whole thing.

"Aw, you're too sweet." Her tone was full of sarcasm as she rolled her eyes at her husband, walking to the dresser and pulling out a pair of his pajama pants and t-shirt for herself. "When I'm changed, then we'll decide." She answered, this time seriously. Even though his clothes were way too big for her, she couldn't help but love wearing them. They were Derek's, they smelt of him, she couldn't help but like them. And even though he was there, she didn't care, she wanted to wear his clothes, not her own.

"My clothes?" Derek questioned, before walking to the sofa and sitting down after he'd taken off his shoes, wanting Addison to join him.

"Your clothes." Addison nodded her head before slipping into the bathroom to get changed. Despite the fact that Derek had seen her with much less than her underwear more times than it was possible to remember, she still had her moments when she didn't like changing in front of him. She liked her own privacy,

As Derek waited for Addison to change, he looked through the room service menu, they'd probably end up ordering something and not actually eating it, but it was something to lighten the mood ever so slightly before they started to talk about the more serious matter. When he heard the bathroom door open, he smiled as Addison made her way over to him, his clothes drowning her small frame completely. "You look good."

"You need to shut up." Addison smirked at him, taking a seat close beside him, looking at the menu he was still holding as she felt his arm wrap around her shoulder. "What do you want?" She asked, looking up at him slightly.

"I don't mind. Just want to order a few things, and then eat whatever you want?" He suggested as he watched her go back to looking at the menu.

"Pizza?" She suggested, looking up at him once again. "I'm not that hungry, really. But you'll force me to eat anyway."

Even though pizza wasn't exactly Derek's idea of a healthy, substantial meal, it was what Addison wanted, and honestly, he wasn't too hungry either. So ordering a few things would be a waste, they might as well stick to just the one thing and if they wanted anything else, they could order it later. "Pizza."

After they'd agreed what they wanted, which was more of Derek asking Addison and agreeing with her immediately before phoning room service, Derek then looked back at Addison who had turned to face him slightly on the sofa, her eyes intently on his. "Derek." She began, unsure of where exactly this whole thing was going, but she didn't have chance to continue before she was stopped by Derek's finger pressed against her lips.

"Let me talk, please?" Derek waited for Addison to agree and when he saw her nod her head slightly, he smiled at her, placing his hand on her thigh as he done so. "It's been six months. Honestly, I don't care. I thought we'd got past all this, or at least we were getting past it all. We're making things work, I want things to work. I made the mistake of pushing you into his arms, I deserved to walk in on the two of you six months ago. But I shouldn't have ran, I should have stayed, fought it out with you. I should've fought for our marriage and not just left it."

"Can I say something?" She questioned cautiously, playing with his fingers of the hand that was resting on her thigh. As she saw him nod his head this time, she took a deep breath before continuing. "I'll rephrase that, can I say something without you yelling and telling me to get out, or you walking away. Can I say something and then we sit here and talk about things like two adults? Because if you're serious about us, we need to do that, we need to talk. Not yell, just talk. I deserve to be yelled at, and I'd appreciate that much more than you just walking away again."

The way she had worded things, Derek knew he was in for something bad and he didn't like the sound of it. It had been six months since he had walked in on his wife and his best friend, in his own bed. It hurt him, it had done. But they were making things work, they were trying, and things had been good. But he wasn't convinced they would stay that way for all that much longer. "I'm serious about us, but I'll listen. No yelling, no walking away." Derek agreed, nodding his head slightly, his eyes remaining on Addison as he waited for her to talk.

Her mouth was dry, it was horrible, but she needed to talk, she needed to say what she had to say, and she hoped that he would stay with her. That he wouldn't run. Taking a deep breath, Addison began to fiddle with her own fingers, leaving Derek's hand on her thigh, not wanting to feel it when he suddenly removed his hand from her leg after she told him. "Mark and I... After you left... He and I... We stayed together." Addison stopped as she felt a single tear fall down her cheek, she hated herself for it, but Derek had a right to know. She was avoiding eye contact with him as much as she could, which so far was working out all right for her. "You left, and I never thought that we'd get things back, we stayed together, because I couldn't face the fact that I'd lost you for some stupid mistake."

It hit him like a tonne of bricks, and there was a part of him that just wanted to get up from where he was and walk away, tell her that he couldn't deal with her. But that was just a tiny part of him, the rest of him, most of him, was telling himself to sit there with her, listen to what she had to say and work things out. That part had completely taken over, he couldn't lose her again. "You stayed together?" The words came out somewhat choked as he looked at Addison, more frustrated with the fact she wasn't looking at him than anything else.

"You had gone, I thought you hated me, he was there. I believed his lies, I believed him when he said that he loved me, that we would make things work." There were more tears falling down her cheeks now, and she watched as Derek removed his hand from her thigh, knowing that it was too good to be true for him to keep it there. But when she felt his hand on her cheek, his thumb brushing the tears away, she couldn't help but wonder what was going on. She hadn't expected that, at all.

"Then, he done what he usually did?" Derek questioned, knowing that it was Mark's thing, he didn't do commitment, he never had done.

"He done what he usually did." She nodded, her eyes falling onto his light blue ones, a hopeful look on her face.

"It hurts, doesn't it? Catching someone you love with someone else?" It hadn't meant to sound cruel, but he couldn't help it, it just came out before he was able to stop himself. The look on Addison's face was enough to make him hate himself right at that moment, and he removed his hand from her cheek and reached her hers, giving it a small squeeze. "Sorry."

"No, you have every right to be that way. You have every right to walk away to be honest."

"I'm done walking away." He said firmly, his eyes looking into her pools of grey, he hadn't meant anything this much in a while, because he was done walking away. He was there, by her side until the end. "I shouldn't have said that, because I screwed up too, in every possible way. But we're making things work now, if you still want to?"

"Of course I still want to." She replied immediately, her eyes remaining on his as she almost glared at him. "There's more." She hated herself even more, she really did. "You're gonna get mad, I don't want you to get mad though, but I know you will."

"No yelling or walking away, remember?" He reminded her, keeping a firm grip on Addison's hand as he listened to her continue.

"I was pregnant. It was his. I had an abortion. I didn't want his baby, I wanted yours. I wanted a mini Derek running around with your hair and blue eyes. Or a little girl with my hair and your eyes. Or both. I wanted my family with you, not him. Mark was a mistake."

That wasn't what he'd expected at all, he'd half expected there to be something about Mark, which was why, in a way, the whole staying together thing didn't surprise him and piss him off as much as he had thought. But this, this was different. Addison had been carrying a child, not his, but his 'best friends' child. "Did Mark know?" He asked quietly, his eyes not leaving her as he waited for an answer.

"He knew. It didn't stop him from cheating though." She didn't need to feel sorry for herself, because no one in their right mind would feel sorry for her. But as she looked up at Derek, she recognized the look in his eyes, it wasn't anger or hatred, those would've been much easier to deal with, it was hurt and pain. Something she hated seeing when she looked at him. "I know sorry doesn't cut it, but you're my husband, and if you still want to make this work, then you have a right to know. I get that you might not, or that we've just taken a hundred steps back compared to the ten forward we've taken. But I couldn't not tell you. I still love you." Another tear slid down her cheek, yet again, it was met with Derek's thumb, and she looked up at him. She didn't deserve him, maybe Meredith did deserve him after all.

"Right now, I hate you, I hate Mark, I hate myself. But even with all that, even with how much I wish you hadn't said any of it and that I don't want any of it to be true, with all that, I still love you too." She was right, it was like a hundred steps back compared to the ten forward, but they'd make it, right? They had to make it. After all, they were Derek and Addison. No, they were _DerekandAddison_.

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**It's crap, I know. I'm tired, but you have something.**

**Well done McMuffin for guessing! =]**


	10. Mary Poppins

**This is absolute crap, and has no purpose whatsoever really. I just wanted to write. So, you people got an update, a lame one, but it's an update.**

**I blame certain people for my lack of creativity today. Because they say things, then send stupid texts, then get all offended when my best friend says something to them. Pathetic.**

**I still own nothing. Sadly. All characters belong to Shonda and Co. She's a legend in her own way. **

**Read, review. **

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Laying in bed beside Addison, silence filling the air between them wasn't something Derek liked at all. In fact, he hated it. Absolutely hated it. It wasn't even a comfortable silence either, it was a horrible one. Not so much awkward, it just wasn't right. Derek wanted to talk, but he wasn't sure it would help things at all. They'd pretty much been silent since he'd found out about the abortion. Their room service had arrived shortly after, they'd picked at the pizza, leaving most of it where it was, before both agreeing to go to bed.

Now, an hour later, they were both laying side by side staring up at the ceiling. They never slept like this, which was why they both knew that the other was awake. Addison usually curled up on her side facing Derek, or like the past few weeks had been, curled up with his arm around her. Derek either slept on his side facing away from Addison, or with his arm around her even then he was facing her slightly. They never just laid on their backs staring at the ceiling when they were trying to sleep.

"Say something." Addison whispered, wiping another tear from her cheek, somewhat pleased that Derek couldn't see it.

"I don't know what to say." He answered truthfully, turning his head to face her slightly. "What do _you_ want me to say, Addison?"

"Anything. I think even you yelling would be better than this silence, and I hate it when you yell at me." The red head turned her face to look at him, smiling weakly as she caught his eye.

Derek couldn't help but smile as he looked at her, she looked beautiful, even with the darkness of the room, he could still see how beautiful she was. Her comment had helped along with the smile too. "You want me to yell at you?"

"It would be better than this. I hate you yelling, but this silence, it's not nice." This time, she rolled onto her side and faced him, her hand lightly brushing against his. She didn't want to push him too far, so it would be one step at a time. That was providing that Derek didn't decide to run. "What are you thinking about?" Addison lifted her head up to look at him more easily, letting her head rest on the palm of her hand, her elbow holding her head up.

Derek let out a sigh at Addison's question, and he turned his head to look back up at the ceiling, moving his hand closer to Addison's, so they were touching lightly. "That things could be easier. That this is gonna take a lot more work than I first thought." Derek paused for a second, but before he could continue, Addison interrupted.

"That things would be easier if I hadn't shown up and you could've continued your life with her."

"No!" Derek answered immediately, no hesitation, this time he looked at her, taking hold of her hand and giving it the smallest of squeezes. "No. Even if that was the case, that things would be easier if I was with her, that's not what I want. I want you. Whether you slept with Mark six months ago or not, whether you aborted his child or not. I want you, Addison Forbes Montgomery-_Shepherd_." There was a lot more emphasis on the 'Shepherd' than the rest of her name, he knew that. But he needed to make her realise that as tough as things were, they'd do it, they'd make it.

It just made Addison feel worse though, with how understanding he was being, she was wanting him to yell now, wanting him to fight for their marriage properly. But at least he hadn't walked away, at least he wasn't avoiding the conversation, even if there wasn't any yelling. "Do you ever regret choosing me?" She asked softly, unsure of his reaction.

He couldn't help but roll his eyes at her question, and he turned onto his side, mirroring her position, taking hold of her hand with his other one now. "No. Well, at first, I had no idea what I wanted. Like we've established before, it was an obligation. But since that, since choosing you for that stupid reason, I've realised just how much I've missed you. How I missed this, the talking, the little sarcastic remarks from you, seeing your smile at something you read in a magazine. How your eyes light up every single time you watch Mary Poppins, even though I consider it a kids movie. I wouldn't want anything else."

"You know a little while ago, you mentioned something about you being my charming husband?"

"You agree with me." Derek said, a smug grin on his face as he looked at her.

"Shut up." Addison moved her hand from his and playfully hit him, a smile on her face as she looked at him. "You're not bad, I guess."

"You find me charming." He teased, feeling Addison's body move closer to his own and he wrapped his arm around her.

"You're too full of yourself. But thank you for talking to me, for not running, I don't know what I'd do if you walked away again." The tears were back, she couldn't help it, she didn't deserve him, at least she didn't feel like she did. If he was sticking by her side after that, then maybe things would be all right after all.

"I'm not walking away, Addison. I'm here, I'm laying in bed with the woman I love, because I screwed up before and as much as I hate the thought of you with him, and you being pregnant with his child. I'm gonna have to deal with it, because I can't let you go. I don't want to. We both have things we need to work on, but we're gonna get there. We're gonna make it. Promise." Derek pressed his lips against the top of her head softly, holding her tightly against his chest, and as soon as he felt the tears against him, he knew there was no stopping her now. "Try not to cry yourself to sleep, just try to sleep. We'll talk more tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." Addison agreed, her head buried into his chest, taking in a deep breath, she loved how he smelt, she had no idea what it was about him, she'd just always loved how he smelt. It was a comfort thing. "G'night, Derek." She mumbled against his chest, wrapping her arm around him tightly.

"Goodnight, Addie." He whispered, his eyes closing slowly, he wanted her to fall asleep first, but he wasn't sure it was going to happen. What he was sure about though, was the two of them making things with.

**Derek&AddisonDerek&AddisonDerek&AddisonDerek&AddisonDerek&AddisonDerek&AddisonDerek&Addison**

One more day. They only had one more day at work, before they had a day off, and it was one of those crazy days which didn't give Derek a chance to stop for five minutes. Even when he did, he tried to talk to Addison, but one of them ended up getting called away. They'd fallen asleep in one anothers arms, and woken up the same way. They didn't have time to talk about anything, so their usual morning banter passed between the two as they got ready for work, laughing at one anothers attempts at jokes. It was their morning routine.

Well, technically it wasn't one more day anymore, it was an hour left until the end of Derek's shift and he knew Addison was there for another hour after that. As he stood at the nurses station, he heard an all too familiar voice calling his name, and with a sigh and an eye roll, Derek looked up to see his sister; Nancy making her way in his direction. He hated unexpected visitors, especially when it was one of his sisters.

"Nancy." He tried to sound cheerful, but he knew he failed miserably.

"Well, I'm always happy to see my big brother too." She teased as she held out her arms, enveloping Derek in a hug. "Hey." She said, this time quieter than before as she pulled away. "Where's Addie?"

As soon as Nancy asked the question, Derek realised that he didn't actually know, which was strange, because he'd known where she had been all day, up until now. "I don't know." He answered honestly, his eyes searching around the two of them for her.

"You haven't upset her again, have you?" Nancy questioned, looking at her brother, not wanting to yell at him in the middle of the hospital, but if she had to, then she would. She loved Addison like a sister, and she hated how Derek had treated her in the past.

"No. We've got things to talk about, but I think we're alright. We've been fine all day."

"Wow. A whole day, big brother. I'm proud of you." Nancy's sarcasm caught up with her, and she laughed at the glare she got from Derek.

"She told me about Mark last night, so things aren't perfect. But we're making thing work." He said seriously, wanting her to understand why he wasn't completely sure that things were alright with him and Addison. "I'm assuming you've known about it all along?"

"She was a mess." Nancy said quietly, before pulling her brother away from the prying ears of everyone around them, searching for an empty conference room for them to talk in. As she found one, Nancy pushed open the door and walked in, waiting for the door to close completely before she began to talk. "She was a wreck after you jetted off to the other side of the country. Mark was there, he was by her side. He's not the best guy, but he was there when you weren't. Even before you left, he was there. Anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, he was there for it all. Addison didn't want to believe that what you had was over because of one night, Derek! She needed to believe that her and Mark had something."

"She said."

"We all knew they didn't, but he brought a smile to her face. It wasn't the one that was there each time you looked at her, and complimented her, but it was something. You broke her, he tried to put things back together. As for the baby, we all make mistakes. She didn't want Mark's baby, and even though it fucking hurt him when she had the abortion, it was the right thing to do. Mark was fucking crazy about Addison and the baby, and for some reason, when I speak to him now, he asks how you're doing." Nancy shook her head in disbelief the fact that Mark still cared about Derek, but the two had always been close.

"We all screwed up, the three of us. Somehow, we're all as bad as each other, for different reasons. I'm not screwing this up again, that woman you call one of your best friends, I love her. I'd do anything for her, absolutely anything." A quiet conversation had turned into an argument, thankfully, it wasn't one of their full blown ones which everyone would be able to hear. At least, not yet. "Addison is my wife. I made the stupid decision of going back to her because of an obligation, that's not a good reason. But we've spent time together, we're getting back on track, we're talking to each other. Going back to her for the reason I did was wrong. But it's not that anymore, I'm with her because I'm in love with her. Because even with this whole Mark thing, or my whole Meredith thing, I want Addison. I want to spend the rest of my life with Addison."

"You said that?" Nancy asked, somewhat surprised.

"What?"

"That it was an obligation."

"Maybe not in so many words, but we both knew it. We've talked about that though, it's forgotten. We're together because we want to be. Like I said, I'd do anything for that woman, absolutely anything." Derek was stopped by the sound of the door opening, and a pale looking Addison entering the room.

A smile appeared on all three of their faces and Addison glanced from Derek to Nancy, then back to Derek. "Anything?" She questioned as she moved closer to him, reaching for his hand.

"Anything."

"God, are you two about to break into song and start singing that thing from Oliver? I'd do anything or whatever it is?" Nancy asked, shaking her head at the pair of them.

"No, I just wanted to know if he'd go back to New York." Addison said looking at Nancy until the last two words when she looked back up at her husband.

"You want to go back?" Derek asked, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"I don't know. I don't think so, as long as we don't have to live in a trailer forever." She leant against his shoulder, closing her eyes as she gripped his hand even tighter.

"Anything." Derek whispered as he pressed the top of his lips against Addison's head, his free arm moving around her waist as he pulled her close to himself.

"You two make me sick. I think I liked you better when you were fighting."

Addison laughed softly at Nancy's words, looking up at her husband with a smile on her face. "We still fight. Because we have something worth fighting for now."

"We definitely do." Derek agreed, nodding his head, completely forgetting Nancy was in the room until her voice filled it, annoyance in her tone.

"Alright, can we please get away from this place? Addison isn't looking so great, so wherever you guys are staying, living or whatever is fine with me." Nancy suggested moving back towards the door.

"I feel fine, Nance." Addison argued weakly, not moving out of Derek's grip as he held her tightly.

"As much as I hate agreeing with her, Nancy is right, you don't look so good." Derek moved ever so slightly away from Addison, placing his hand on her forehead and raising his eyebrow slightly at her. "You don't feel so great either."

As Addison looked between two of the Shepherd siblings, she knew she was fighting a losing battle, still she could hope. "Fine. Let me go and get changed and we can go back to the hotel."

"I'll come with you. Us girls need some alone time before Derek is back around. Plus, I'm not letting you go anywhere by yourself looking as pale as you do."

Addison let out a reluctant sigh as she moved away from Derek towards Nancy, glancing back at her husband one last time before she was led out of the door. There was a part of her that was glad Nancy was around, but another part just wanted her alone time with Derek.

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**Maybe I have a thing for musicals, I can't help it.  
**

**I don't actually know why I brought Nancy into it, I was tempted to bring Mark into it. But I decided that can wait. **

**Review. I know it's bad, but I'd appreciate something anyway.**

**And I know you people want sex, it'll happen. But I'm far too tired to type up something like that at the moment, but it's going to happen. Though it might not be for a few more chapters, all depending on how I feel when I start doing the rest. **


	11. Head Over Heels

**Before you read it, I'm letting you know that this sucks. Because it does. But I haven't had time to update, so I thought I'd give you something, even if it is as bad as what you're about to read.**

**I'd still appreciate reviews though.**

**Still, owning nothing. All characters belong to Shonda. Even if she did mess things up for Derek and Addison. **

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The drive back to the hotel had consisted of Nancy going on about everyone back in New York, Mark included, ignoring the comments from both Addison and Derek when she mentioned his name. That was a subject neither of them wanted bringing up, and Nancy knew it. Testing the water, that was what she was doing. Derek knew his sister well enough, as did Addison. Addison sat there not really saying much, partly because of Nancy's constant talking and partly because she really wasn't feeling that great. It was a distraction having Nancy there though, at least Derek wasn't constantly asking her if she was alright.

"So, why are you guys living in a hotel?" Nancy asked as Derek pulled into the parking lot.

"Because Addison doesn't like the trailer." Derek answered with a small grin in Addison's direction, causing her to roll her eyes at her husband.

"But doesn't it have like this amazing view or something?" She questioned, getting out of the car and getting the door for a still pale Addison.

"I never said that it didn't. I just don't like the whole idea of such a tiny space with _everything_ in it. You'd understand if you had to live in it." The red head replied, reaching for her husband's hand who had walked around to her side of the car.

Taking her hand in his own, Derek gave it a gentle squeeze as they started to walk towards the hotel entrance. "It's not that bad, Nancy. Addison just prefers more space, especially with the amount of clothes and shoes she has." This caused Addison to gently nudge his arm, glaring up at him.

"A woman can never have too many shoes, Derek." Nancy replied, pressing the button to call the elevator. "Which floor?"

"Eleven." Addison said quietly as she leant her head against her husband's shoulder, gripping his hand even tighter. He may make little comments to annoy her, but it was always comforting having him right there beside her.

"Nancy, has anyone ever told you that you're worse than a five year old when it comes to talking and asking questions?" Derek asked as the three of them stepped into the elevator, Derek releasing Addison's hand before wrapping his around her waist. He hated seeing her like this, she never got sick, and even if she did, she battled it out. This time, it was different though, as though she was just letting it get to her, not even trying to make herself better.

"All part of my charm, big brother."

Both Derek and Addison couldn't help but laugh at her comment, causing them both to receive a glare from Nancy, shaking her head as she looked away from them.

"You sure you're alright?" Derek asked softly, pressing his lips against Addison's forehead.

"I've felt better, but I'll be fine, Derek. Just tired."

Derek looked towards Nancy who was searching through her purse for something. "Want me to tell her we'll do something with her tomorrow?"

"You can't just tell her to leave, Derek. She's your sister." Addison replied as the elevator doors opened, keeping close to Derek as they walked out of the elevator.

"I know you two are talking about me, but I won't listen. It's alright." Nancy chirped up as she looked down the hallway wondering which way they were heading.

"Left and shut up." Derek responded before walking down the hallway to their room. "She'll understand."

"She also might come up with some ridiculous theory as to why I'm sick, blame it on you, then refuse to leave." Addison suggested, a knowing look upon her face.

Letting out a defeated sigh, Derek let go of Addison and went to get the key from his wallet, opening the door for both Nancy and Addison before following them inside. As he let the door close, another eye roll occurred from Addison at Nancy's words. "You two get paid too much, this is nice for a hotel room."

"You need to shut up, otherwise you're walking straight back out."

Addison grinned at Derek's comment, it was much like her normal smile, rather than one which was clearly too much effort for her. She felt Derek help her with her coat as she started to take it off, as much as she wanted a night just the two of them, she was kind of grateful for the distraction of Nancy being there.

Once they'd all settled down, Nancy with wine, Derek with a beer and Addison with her water, Nancy glanced around the room, studying it carefully. "What is it?" Derek asked as he felt Addison lean closer to him, something he hadn't thought possible with how they were sitting.

"Huh? Nothing. What should I be saying to Mom when I go back?"

"When are you going back?" Derek answered quickly, a little too quickly really.

"Trying to get rid of me already?" She teased, grinning at her brother before looking at Addison who was starting to look even worse. "But I'm here for three more days. A conference tomorrow, nothing the day after, then another boring conference the day after. Looks like you're stuck with me."

"It's alright, I'm off when you're busy. But Addison might be free, because she's not going into work the way she is at the moment."

"I'm fine." Addison interrupted, looking up at her husband, it wasn't convincing though, she knew it wouldn't work.

"Sure, you're fine." Derek shook his head in disbelief, feeling Addison let her head rest on his shoulder again, looking over at Nancy.

"You two make me sick, you know that? I mean, Graham and I, we're good, but you two, you're disgusting."

"You can leave if you don't like it." Derek retorted, a little too cheerfully.

"I haven't seen you in months and you want me to leave?"

"I want to spend time with my wife, without my annoying sister asking questions and making comments constantly."

"I think your wife wants to sleep." Nancy said with a glance at Addison who was failing miserably at covering up a yawn. "Since she's tired, I'll go, but tomorrow, can we actually do something when I'm done with this stupid conference? I actually want to spend time with two of my favorite people." It was strange having Nancy actually sound sincere, it was something rare for her, but it was also something Derek couldn't say no to.

"You don't have to, Nancy." Addison said slowly.

"It's fine, just promise me that tomorrow night we can do something? Even if it is me coming here for a room service meal."

"I promise." Derek answered, smiling up at his sister, "Thanks." He glanced at Addison that back up to Nancy, the smile still there.

"Anytime. You look after her, alright?" Nancy warned as she made her way to the door.

"He always does." Addison said sleepily, her eyes closing slowly.

"I won't comment on that, but I'll call you tomorrow, Der."

"Tomorrow. Night Nancy." He said as he watched her walk out of the room. He loved his sister, but she didn't half have a way of turning up at the most inconvenient times.

"Addie, if you're gonna sleep, you should get into bed." He said softly, taking her hand in his own.

"I'm fine here, Derek. We can go to bed later."

"Later." He repeated, pressing his lips against the top of her head softly. For the time being, he'd be sitting on the sofa, in a not so comfortable position as he waited for Addison to actually want to go to bed to sleep. He reached for the television control, turning it on aswell as turning the volume down so that he didn't disturb Addison.

**Derek&AddisonDerek&AddisonDerek&AddisonDerek&AddisonDerek&AddisonDerek&Addison**

"You're doing it again." Addison said softly, looking in the direction of her husband.

"I am?" Derek questioned, knowing perfectly well what she was talking about.

"You are." She nodded her head slightly, her eyes remaining on Derek.

"I love you." He offered, hoping that it would make things better, even just for the moment.

Addison let out a soft sigh as she looked at him, her eyes avoiding his as she spoke. "Do you? Because I'm doubting that at the moment."

Derek could tell that she was hurt by the way things had been, and that hadn't been his intention whatsoever, it had just kind of happened. He had become distant, yet again. He was pushing Addison away, yet again. Even though there was no Mark, or hopefully no one around when he wasn't, he was doing it again. "I do." He nodded his head slightly, stepping closer to Addison, brushing her hair from her face.

"You've been avoiding me. You're distant." The red head looked around where they were, she didn't want to have this conversation where they were, but at least he wasn't making up excuses to go and do something else, even though she was almost certain he had a surgery soon. It had been a week since Nancy had gone back to New York, during those few days, even though Addison hadn't been feeling all that great, things had been amazing between her and Derek. Now, that was completely different. He was distant and she hated it.

"It's just a lot, you know? I'm trying, Addie. I know it might not seem like it, but I am. Because I don't want to lose you." Derek leant in and pressed a soft kiss against her lips, smiling slightly as he pulled away. "I have surgery, I'm not running, I'm not avoiding this or you, but I do have to go. When I'm done, if you're free, we could talk?"

"Talking is good. So is food." She half suggested with a smile on her face as she looked up at him.

"Talking and food. Sounds like a date." He replied, a smile clear across his face.

"A date." Addison repeated, grinning at her husband as he kissed her once again before walking off down the hallway. Saying those three words wasn't going to suddenly make everything alright again, but at least he was willing to try.

The next few hours seemed to drag on forever in Addison's opinion, she had a couple of patients she needed to check on, then she went and sat in the gallery watching Derek's surgery for an hour, before going to do more work. It was driving her crazy, she needed Derek, but he wasn't around. The last thing she wanted was New York all over again, because losing Derek wasn't something she wanted. The guy may be cocky and arrogant, but he was Derek. He was her Derek.

As she sat at her desk, reading through a magazine, head buried in her hands with only enough room for her to see the magazine, Addison heard a soft laugh as her office door opened. "Shut up." She muttered, looking up from the magazine to Derek who was standing in the doorway.

"Hey to you too." He greeted her, walking into her office and letting the door close behind him. "Busy?"

"Of course." She answered with a smile as Derek walked around the desk so that he was standing beside her. "Are you done now?"

"All yours for the rest of the night." Derek said as he ran his fingers slowly through her hair.

"Talking and food, huh?" Addison asked with a hopeful smile as she looked up at her husband.

"Can we do something I want to do?"

"Does it involve food?"

"It can involve food."

"Does it involve talking?"

"The talking is still there, I'm not avoiding." He stated with a smile on his face as Addison stood up from her chair.

"What is it?"

"Since it's actually a nice night in Seattle, one of those rare things, can we go and watch the ferryboats?"

Addison couldn't help but smile at the sound of his voice and the way his eyes seemed to light up at the thought og going to watch the ferryboats. He was like a kid, but ferryboats were Derek's thing. "Can we get some food for when we watch them?"

"Definitely. I wouldn't want my wife complaining that I've been making her starve. Talking, eating and watching the ferryboats. I'm quite a lucky guy really." He chuckled slightly and pressed his lips against Addison's forehead as she leant into him slightly.

"You know how to treat a girl."

"I'm making sure I don't do anything wrong. I almost lost this woman who I'm absolutely head over heels in love with, but I got her back. I'm not going to make the same mistake again." Derek replied, his tone now serious. He meant it, he wasn't going to make the same mistake, he wasn't going to do anything wrong, at least not on purpose.

"Head over heels in love with?" Addison teased with a grin on her face.

"Well and truly." Derek agreed.

"She must be one lucky girl."

"I hope she thinks so."

"She does, I know it." Addison leant up and pressed her lips to Derek's, this time with a little more force than usual, her arms sliding over his shoulders as she held him close. She needed this, it wasn't much, just a kiss, but she needed to feel close to Derek, for him to prove to her that this wasn't it for them. So far, he was definitely doing that.

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**Told you it was crap. I'll update soon, tomorrow hopefully. And it will be better.**


	12. I Got Scared

**This chapter is pretty short, but it's something. I apologise for the complete lack of updates on this, but life really did take over. I'm going to update as often as I can, but I don't know how often that'll be. On Sunday, I'm going to work on the next update, but I'm not entirely sure what time I'll be home anyway.**

**Still, review please. I'd appreciate it. And I'll try and update sooner if I get a few reviews. **

**Again, really sorry for the time it's taken for this to be up here.**

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There was this one spot that Derek had found, it wasn't crowded and full of people like so many of the other places were where they could watch the ferry boats, it was quiet, it was the two of them sitting on a bench together with a couple of boxes of Chinese on their laps. To anyone who walked past they would probably get a weird look, but honestly, Derek didn't mind a single bit. Addison was sitting close beside him, his jacket hanging over her tiny frame as she looked out towards Elliot Bay. They hadn't spoken much since leaving work, other than deciding where to get food from and where to go to sit, there was still so much that they needed to discuss and it would happen, just not straight away.

"How's the food for you?" Derek asked quietly as he looked at Addison who was picking at a spring roll, clearly lost in her own thoughts.

When she heard his voice, Addison suddenly looked up at him then down at the spring roll she was picking at before back up to him. "It's good," she replied, nodding her head slightly.

A sigh escaped his lips as he took the spring roll she had and put it in one of the boxes, before closing them and placing them back in the carrier bag they'd been in. As he looked back at Addison, he could tell that a part of her wanted to protest because of him taking the food from her, but another part just couldn't be bothered with it. "I honestly think you could be eating paper and you wouldn't care right now."

It was true, she didn't care what they were eating at all and she put her hand in his pocket and pulled out a clean pack of Kleenex, taking one out and handing it to him before taking one out for herself and putting them back in his jacket pocket. "You're not going to avoid talking again, are you?" The red-head questioned, her tone full of worry.

"I said we'd get food, watch the ferry boats and talk. The first two, we've done, the third is going to happen, don't worry." Derek took the Kleenex from her and put it along with his own in the carrier bag before turning back to face Addison, his hand instantly reaching for hers. "I love you."

"So you keep saying."

"Because I do, more than anything."

"You've been avoiding me since Nancy left. When she was here, I saw the man I fell in love with. He was there, he was taking care of me because I was sick, refusing to let go of my hand when we were out, holding me close at night even when I tried to push him away. He was there, Derek." Addison paused, and was about to continue when she was interrupted by Derek.

"But now he's gone. Now it's the man who made you do what you done." It hurt him to say it, but he knew it was true, they both did.

"Yeah. Where's my Derek gone? I know he's still there, because if he wasn't, he wouldn't be sitting here now with me." Addison looked up at him, gripping his hand even tighter than before as she continued. "I'm sorry, Derek, I am. I know sorry doesn't cut any of it and I shouldn't have slept with him, or stayed with him or anything. I know I should have told you sooner about the baby and everything, but I was scared you'd leave again, I still am." A single tear fell down her cheek, she didn't want to cry in front of him again, but it appeared that it was going to happen.

"Don't cry," he said simply as he reached up to brush the falling tear from her cheek. "It was just a lot to take in, one minute we're saying that everything is fine and we're all right with the whole thing, then you suddenly come out with this about staying with him, aborting his baby. It hurt Addison, the whole thing hurt. I know I was distant and I'm sorry for that, it's my fault you slept with him in the first place. But I never thought, for one minute, that you might actually stay with him after I left."

"You left though! You left me alone in New York, he was there. He was there when you weren't." Addison pulled her hand away from his, pushing both of her hands into his jacket pocket. "He was always there when you weren't, even before you suddenly took off to the other side of the country. My birthday, he took me out for a meal. Our anniversary, he showed up and we stayed in watching a movie and got take-out. Our anniversary, Derek! You were meant to be there, but instead he showed up and said you got pulled into surgery and you couldn't get out of it. I didn't want Mark there, I wanted you, but I didn't want to be alone either." The whole time she spoke, she avoided looking at him, sitting outside where people could see and hear them probably wasn't the best of ideas, but they were talking, not yelling. At least, Addison hoped it stayed that way.

"I shouldn't have left New York, not without either talking to you first, or you coming with me. I should have been there every single night when I could, especially your birthday and our anniversary," Derek reached across and placed his hand on her thigh, hoping she wouldn't pull away from him. "I got scared."

He got scared? What of? Addison looked up at him, curiosity in her eyes and she instantly saw the worry in his and she was almost certain she knew. "You got scared." Addison prompted him, wanting him to go on.

"I knew I was distant, that we weren't talking. At least, I wasn't talking to you. I'd be at work late on the nights I didn't have to be and I'd be thinking about you, worried that I would go home and you wouldn't be there. That I'd walk in and all your stuff would be gone. It didn't help that each time I spoke to Nancy she told me to pull myself together otherwise you would leave me." Derek looked out towards Elliot Bay as he continued to talk, feeling Addison place her hand over his that was resting on her thigh. "So many nights, I'd get ready to go home, I'd even get outside our house and I couldn't go in, because I was worried that you wouldn't be inside. I'd screwed up and you deserved better. You deserved so much better," he slowly brought his gaze up to meet Addison's. "You still do."

"Don't say that." Addison responded instantly, looking into her husband's eyes. "You'd actually get outside our house?"

"Right outside the front door, key in hand, everything."

"I wasn't going anywhere, most nights I fell asleep on the sofa because I didn't like going to bed without you."

"I screwed up, Addie. You could have easily walked away and got on with your life, met someone new and it wouldn't have surprised me. It would have hurt, but I'd have to deal with it. Just like this whole thing with Mark, I hate it, and then seeing you two together made me feel sick, Addison. But I'm gonna have to deal with it, because you're my wife and I love you. It's not something I'm going to suddenly forget about overnight, but I'm going to work on it."

"I'll work on this whole Meredith thing, too."

"If we stick together, if we actually talk about things, we'll manage it. I'll make sure I don't become distant again, and if you notice that I am, tell me, yell at me to stop it, drag me away from the hospital and make me talk."

Addison couldn't help but smile ever so slightly at his words, he was actually going to work on everything, even with what she'd told him and what had happened, he was going to work on everything. "No more staying late unless you have to, and if you are going to, you have to let me know before."

"Promise." Derek agreed, leaning towards Addison and softly pressing his lips against hers for a few seconds before pulling away. "Back to the hotel?"

"I think that's best." Addison agreed, slowly standing up from the bench and waiting for Derek to stand up and pick up the take-out boxes and throw them in the trash before walking back over to her. As she felt him take her hand again, Addison leant against him ever so slightly as they walked, they were making their marriage work, it was going to work and she couldn't be much happier right at that moment. "Are you cold? You can have your jacket back if you are."

"I'm fine, Addie. The second you take it off, you'll complain that it's too cold, so keep it on."

"Thank you."

It wasn't a particularly long walk back to the hotel, but it felt a lot longer than it was. Both of them just wanted to get into their warm hotel room and out of the cold Seattle air. So, when they walked through the entrance doors to their hotel, Addison pulled Derek towards the elevators, pressing the button a couple of times before leaning against him slightly.

"Someone's in a hurry." Derek teased, wrapping his arm around her waist as he held her close to himself.

"And you wouldn't do the same?" She looked up at him with a raised brow, and seeing the look on his face, Addison laughed softly. "Exactly."

When the elevator doors opened, Derek gently pushed her inside and pressed the button for their floor before leaning against the back of the elevator, pulling Addison back against him. "Addie?"

"Mmhmm?"

"You mentioned going back to New York, when Nancy was here. Do you really want to?" He still wasn't sure how he felt about the whole thing, both Seattle and New York had memories that neither wanted to remember and both had some they wanted to remember as well.

Addison turned around in his arms so that she was facing him, still gently leaning against her husband as she spoke. "I don't know. I miss it, I miss New York, Central Park, Fifth Avenue, Broadway, I miss it all. But Seattle isn't as bad as I make out it is."

Derek chuckled at her words, slipping his hands around her waist underneath his jacket, gently rubbing her back as he spoke. "I know it's not. Seattle has ferry boats. Maybe we could take a trip back there, see everyone, do everything we said we were going to do but never did."

"Seriously?" Addison asked just as the elevator doors opened at their floor.

"Seriously." Derek replied, moving away from the wall, keeping his arm around her waist as they walked down the hallway to their room. "I'll talk to Richard tomorrow, get us some time off and we can head back home for a week or so."

Addison's smile grew at the sound of Derek calling New York 'home', it was always going to be his home, she knew that, he'd grown up there and between them, they had so many memories there. But even after everything, it was comforting to hear him say it. "Sounds perfect."


	13. New York City

**I apologise for the lack of updates, and this would have been up earlier today if it wasn't for me getting distracted with Friends, Simpsons and Hollyoaks. Here it is. Hopefully, (although I make no promises) the next one will be up by Sunday.**

**I'd really appreciate reviews. Honestly.**

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"Derek?" Addison whispered loudly, nudging Derek as she reached for her husband's hand. She wasn't sure why it was, but each time she was on a plane, Addison got terrified when it took off and landed. He'd been awake when the plane had taken off, but she knew it wasn't going to be all that long before it landed and she wanted him to be awake for it. As peaceful as he looked as he slept, she couldn't do it without him. How she'd managed to fly out to Seattle before without Derek, Addison had no idea.

"What?" He mumbled sleepily, automatically lacing his fingers with Addison's as he opened his eyes.

Addison just smiled sheepishly at her husband, feeling bad for waking him up. But as she saw the smile on his face, she knew that he wasn't annoyed with her for waking him up. "We're going to be landing soon."

Derek chuckled softly, letting go of Addison's hand for a few seconds and he shifted in his seat to get a little more comfortable. "I figured that was why you were waking me up," he began, reaching over and taking her hand once again. "You all right?"

"Other than the fact I can't wait to get off this plane, I'm good. Did you sleep well?"

"I did, at least as well as I can in one of these seats. I'm glad we're almost there." Derek watched his wife pull his hand onto her lap and started to trace patterns on the back of it, a habit she'd started back when they first met. He knew she was worried and excited about going back to New York, he knew when she got nervous, he knew her little habits. He knew that she was worried his family wouldn't be quite so forgiving. "It'll be alright."

Hearing Derek's reassurance, Addison smiled at him, a silent response to his statement. It would be alright, it had to be. Having Derek there was going to make it alright. As she sat there gripping Derek's hand tightly, Addison knew they'd be alright. Of course, since everything that had happened in New York, since Mark and Meredith, since they started to actually work on their marriage, the only person in Derek's family that Addison had seen was Nancy. But Nancy didn't count, they'd been friends for years beforehand. Nancy was one of Addison's best friends. Not to mention the fact that Addison knew that Nancy too had cheated with Mark Sloan. It was something neither of them wanted to bring up again, but Nancy's had been before she got married. She'd been engaged, but not married to the man she loved for eleven years.

"Hey, you've gone all quiet on me, normally this is the part you talk non-stop to try and forget we're landing." Derek teased gently, giving his wife's hand a small squeeze. "Sure you're alright?"

Looking at him, Addison wanted nothing more than to be curled up next to him, with nothing like the damn armrest between the two of them. She wanted to just sit in his arms for hours on end and be grateful for the fact he was still there. "I've been better," she replied honestly, knowing her husband would question it further.

"We'll talk when we get to the hotel, if you wanted?" Derek suggested, pulling both his and Addison's hand from her lap and onto his, taking up his nervous habit by playing with her fingers. Some things never changed.

The red head smiled down at their hands as Derek began to fiddle with her fingers, tracing lines up and down them, and stopping when he reached her wedding ring. "Derek?" Addison asked, unsure as to why he stopped.

Caught up in thought, Derek slowly looked up at his wife, noticing the cheerful look that had been on her face from before was no longer there. Instead, she was worried. "I love you, you know that?" He began only continuing when she nodded her head. "I screwed up." That time his words were a whisper, only so Addison could hear them.

"What? When?" She had no idea whether he was referring to when they'd been in New York, Seattle of whether this was something completely new.

Letting out an audible sigh, he went back to playing with her hand, his thumb brushing around her wedding band almost constantly. "When we were here," he started only to be interrupted by the pilot saying that they were preparing to land. It would have to wait.

Silence fell between the couple, one of the rare times when they were on a plane together and they were quiet when it was landing. Addison liked talking to take her mind off of the fact the plane was landing, but this time, she was happy with the silence. She still gripped his hand tighter as she felt the plane begin to descend, and a tiny smile formed on her lips as she felt Derek give her hand a small squeeze. He was reassuring her that things were alright, that they'd be alright.

Two hours later and Derek was holding open the door to their hotel room for Addison before taking their luggage inside and letting the door close behind him. He didn't intend on doing all that much for the rest of the day, not to mention they clearly had more things they needed to talk about. Derek smiled as he watched Addison begin to look around the hotel room, something she always done when they stayed in a hotel. "Does it meet your approval?"

Addison turned her head round quickly and grinned over at her husband, nodding her head as she walked over to him. "It does. You know Nancy said we could have stayed at hers."

"But would you want a week with the kids around you constantly?"

Taking Derek's hand, she laced their fingers together and leant against him slightly. "Probably not, no. Maybe for a day or two, but I'd want it to just be us for the rest of it." Addison smiled as she felt Derek's lips against her forehead, and she gripped his hand even tighter. "What do you want to do? Did you want to stay in or not?"

"We could go out, get something to eat and then come back here for the rest of the night. If that's alright with you?"

"Sounds perfect. I'll call Nancy when we're back here too, I'm sure she'll want to see her favorite brother." Addison teased, pulling away from Derek and going to pick up her purse.

"I'm her only brother, Addie. Therefore, I'm automatically her favorite. I'm sure that you're also her favorite sister-in-law too." Derek said as he double checked that he had his cell phone, wallet and their room key before opening the door for Addison. They could unpack later, they had plenty of time to do that when they got back to their room. But they both just wanted to make the most of the fact that they were back in New York, that they were back home.

The couple walked down the street in silence, both lost in thought about the good times they'd had before when they lived in New York. In Derek's mind, the bad things kept on coming to mind too, he didn't want them too, but they were. This trip was to bring them closer together, it wasn't a real vacation but at least coming back to New York they could really face their problems. They could go back to the Brownstone they both still owned, even though they refused to stay there for their week in New York. They could visit Derek's family, and if they wanted to, if Addison wanted to, they could visit her family too. One person who Derek didn't want to run into was Mark, the man who had been like a brother to him for such a long time.

Addison kept on thinking about their first date, how Derek had refused to give her a goodnight kiss, only admitting to her two days later that he regretted it. She was thinking about when her Grandfather died, how Derek had sat with her in the rain in Central Park because the rain reminded her of him. She was thinking about when Derek proposed to her, despite him constantly saying that he wasn't going to even consider it until after their internship because they could end up going separate ways. He had been lying, Mark had told her that he couldn't wait that long to marry her let alone get engaged.

"Chinese?" Derek suggested, as he looked at Addison, smiling as he saw the smile form on her lips.

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea." Addison replied, leaning into Derek a little more as they continued walking. They wouldn't go to a Chinese restaurant, they never did. They'd go to their Chinese take-out, a place that so many people would find horrible if they passed it by, but not them. It had always been their place. From their nights in Med School that they'd stayed up late studying, it had been their place.

"Central Park?" He suggested as a place to go and eat their food, rather than taking it back ot the hotel and making their room smell of the food on their first night.

"Mmhmm." Addison agreed, the tiny smile still gracing her lips as she leant her head against his shoulder.

Twenty minutes later and they were sitting on a bench in Central Park, with their take-out boxes opened beside them, Addison as close to Derek as she could possibly get without sitting on his lap. "Can we go back after we've eaten?" The red head asked quietly, taking a sip of her water before offering it to Derek.

"Movie in bed?"

"Or we can talk. You can tell me what was bothering you on the plane when you said that you screwed up." Addison didn't want Derek blaming himself for it all, it was just as much her fault as it was his.

Derek just nodded in agreement as he replaced the cap on the water bottle before going back to eating more of their dinner. They'd go back to the hotel and talk, he'd find out what was bugging Addison and she'd question what he said even more. But at least they were talking, they were actually on a vacation – kind of – and they were talking.

When Addison had finished eating, she pulled a packet of Kleenex out from her purse, using one herself to clean up and keeping one out for Derek before putting the rest back in her purse. Leaning back on the seat, she watched as Derek picked at the food a little more, before putting the boxes back in the carrier bag and taking the tissue from Addison that she was holding for him. "Enjoy that?" She asked softly, smiling at him as he leant in and kissed her.

"I did, did you?"

"Chinese food in New York with my husband, what's not to like?" Addison sat there looking at him as he tied up the carrier bag and then placed his hand on her thigh. "Do you want to go back?"

Derek turned his head to look at Addison, it wasn't a matter of whether he wanted to go back or not, they both knew that, Addison didn't want to sit in the cold for much longer so going back to the hotel was much more appealing. "You want to." Derek replied as he stood up, picking up the bag and holding his hand towards Addison who took hold of it and stood up.

"Thanks," she whispered as they began to make their way back to the hotel, Derek putting the bag in the trash as they passed a trash can. Silence filled the air between the two of them as they walked, both taking in the fact that they were back home, back there together. It was something neither of them expected, at least not so soon. But right in that moment, they were both happy.

Once they got back to the hotel, Addison sat on the edge of the bed as she took her heels off, wishing that for once she had worn something more comfortable to walk around New York in. She'd never learn though, she liked them, so even if they did cause her feet an awful amount of pain at times, they looked nice. "I'm gonna have a shower," she said as she stood up and walked to her suitcase, getting out the appropriate things she needed for a shower.

"You're not going to unpack first?" Derek teased as he opened his own suitcase and began to take things out, hanging some up in the wardrobe as Addison went into the bathroom.

"You could always be the wonderful husband you are and unpack for me?"

Hearing Addison turn the shower on, he smiled to himself and lifted both his own and Addison's suitcase up onto the bed so that it was easier to unpack them. He knew that she'd be in there for a while and thought that unpacking then would save her some time. As much as he wanted to go and join her in the shower, he was tired and he was almost certain that Addison was because she hadn't suggested they shower together. Once he'd unpacked, Derek grabbed his pajama pants and a t-shirt before going into the bathroom whilst Addison was still in the shower.

"You're just in here to see me naked," Addison called out of the shower as she heard Derek enter the bathroom.

Chuckling to himself, Derek walked over to the shower, pulling the curtain back slightly and smirking as he looked at his wife. "What other reason would I be in here for?"

"Since you're there, you can be useful and pass me a towel."

"You could always stay naked," he suggested whilst he reached for the towel and held it out for Addison when she got out of the shower, wrapping it around her slender frame. "I don't have a problem with that."

"I didn't expect you to ever have a problem with me being naked."

"I could never have a problem with my wife being naked. She should be naked more often, I think."

Addison placed a soft kiss on Derek's lips before walking out of the bathroom, leaving her husband in there to get changed or have a shower, whatever he wanted to do. She got changed into a pair of shorts and one of Derek's t-shirts, she had no need to impress him, she just wanted to relax with her husband and spend the rest of the night with him. Once she was dressed, she hung the towel over the back of one of the chairs and turned on the hairdryer to dry her hair slightly. She was content, she really was. She was back in New York with her husband, things were actually going well and she was happy. Addison was happy.

Just as she turned the hairdryer off, she heard her husband step out of the bathroom, wearing only his pajama bottoms yet holding the t-shirt in his hand. "You're not naked anymore," he complained, pouting slightly as he walked over to Addison.

"Nope, I'm not. Maybe tomorrow you can get me naked." Addison suggested, nuzzling her head into the crook of his neck. "Bed?"

Derek nodded his head, pulling away from Addison to sort out the sheets while his wife made her way back into the bathroom to brush her teeth. When she emerged once again a few minutes later, Derek was sitting up in bed watching television, waiting for her to join him.

Addison climbed into bed, moving as close to Derek as she could possibly get without actually sitting on top of him, breathing in his scent. He smelt so good, he always did. "I never called Nancy," she mumbled as she placed her hand on his warm stomach underneath his t-shirt.

"Call her tomorrow, I'm sure that she won't mind. It's not as though you forgot on purpose." It was true, she hadn't forgotten on purpose, they'd just been making the most of being around one another rather than calling Nancy to check in with her.

As silence fell between the couple once again, just staring at the television, Addison snuggled against her husband a little more as she felt him take her hand and lace their fingers together. He began to brush his thumb across it once again, still doing it around her wedding band. "Derek?"

"Hmm?"

"You don't need be sorry for what happened before, you know that?" She said referring back to their earlier conversation on the plane. "I thought we were past all that, all the blaming ourselves for it all. I want us to just start properly, without everything that happened. You said you screwed up, but I did too. We're both responsible for things going wrong. We're in New York, can we just be us, with your family. I know they're going to blame me for so much and I can deal with that, I can. I just can't deal with you blaming yourself for things going wrong."

Derek pulled his wife tighter against himself as he moved down in the bed slightly. "They're not going to blame you. You're still friends with Nancy, and she's the one who's most likely to hate you for it all, you know what she's like. I've spoken to my Mom, not much, but I've spoken to her and she's happy as long as I am. Which I am, more than anything. She knows we both hurt one another, that it's both of our fault that things went wrong. From what I know, she still speaks to him, so there's no way she could hold anything against you." Rolling onto his side, Derek faced his wife, smiling slightly. "If anyone says anything wrong when we see them, tell me, please? I don't want you getting upset because of something someone said."

Smiling across at her husband, Addison knew he was on her side. Even if someone did blame her for the things that happened, he wouldn't stand for it. "I promise I'll tell you. You have to promise not to leave my side though."

"It's a deal," Derek agreed with a smile. "I love you."

Addison grinned at his words and lean in, pressing her lips firmly against her husbands. "I love you too." Addison whispered as she pulled away, burying her head against his chest. "Night, Derek."

"Goodnight, Addison." Derek whispered as he pressed his lips against the top of Addison's head. Things really were going to be alright for them both.


End file.
